Tunisian | Martinican
I identify as a French Caribbean heterosexual woman with Sefardi Jew heritage. I am an Aquarian, a free spirit, a humanitarian, a nature and animal lover. My Mom was born in Martinique, a French Caribbean island, but lived most of her adult life in Paris, France. My Dad is a (very proud) Sefardi Jew from Tunisia but identifies as Israeli. He grew up in France, travelled all around the world, and worked in Martinique for a very long time where he met my Mom.
My parents first met in a bar in Paris where they had a one-night stand. Few years later, they randomly met again in Martinique where they both lived at the time. They started to work together and from one thing to another, I was born! I grew up with my Mom in Paris and my French White Stepdad. She never really taught me the culture, rarely spoke Kreyol and she didn’t cook any Caribbean food. But I went to spend every summer and Christmas at my Grandmother’s and that’s when I got the chance to be in touch with my culture with my family around. That’s also probably why I feel so close to it.
I met my biological Father when I was 25 so his culture has never been a part of my life. He is very proud to be Jew and wants me to be a part of the community, to learn about the Jewish culture and traditions, which will eventually come. But right now, it stops at our Friday Chabat Shalom!
I wouldn’t say my background affects the choice of my partner but it plays a role in it. Ideally, my dream would be to marry a Black Jew so I can perpetuate both cultures from my heritage.
I truly want my kids to be aware of their Jewish ancestors and their history, I want to be able to light up the candles at Hannukah with them and other celebrations, but most importantly I want them to be proud to be Black in this world. I did hide my Jewish heritage a lot when I was younger because I wasn’t sure if my Dad was really Jew seeing as I didn’t know him. There is also so much hate and antisemitism that I have preferred to stay discrete about it. But now, I’m very proud to be Caribbean and Jew. People are always so surprised when they hear my heritage and I love to see their faces!
The greatest challenge I had around my identity has been feeling legitimate to be who I wanted to be rather than what people expected me to be. I grew up with no one I could identify with. It’s only when Facebook and Instagram started to blow up that we started to see beautiful mixed-race women with the biggest curls, the slimmest waist, and the rounder booty. At the time, I remember feeling like I had to look like them in order to be loved and worthy but after a lot of healing and inner work, I succeeded in understanding and getting to know myself as a woman by using tools such as astrology to know my natural strengths.
I went to Martinique a lot when I was a kid. With the distance, I realize how challenging it was to be there alone without my Mom to help me navigate in her family. I was more Parisian than I was in the Caribbean so the cultural difference was really challenging. However, two years ago, I decided to go to Martinique by myself, away from my family so I can have my own experience of my island. It is one of the best decisions of my life because this is where my spiritual, self-love, acceptance, and discovery journey started. Going to Israel has been added to my bucket list, something that I envision doing with my Dad and my sister sooner than later!
I only realized that I was mixed two weeks before my 27th birthday (identity crisis, I guess)! In my opinion, your outlook on being mixed as a kid will depend on your education, as an adult it will depend on. If you grew up with two cultures in the same house, you will never feel lost because you know where you come from. However, if there is one parent missing in your life, that’s where you are looking for something outside of yourself to complete you, especially during the teenage years where you are trying to figure yourself out. When you enter adult life, that’s where things get even more real. Society will always stereotype you depending on what you look like and will try to put you in a box that you obviously don’t fit.
The ‘fun fact’ about my experience is that I know that I’ve been often employed because I represented diversity (my hair) but not too much (my skin complexion). Mixed identity is represented but not in the best way, especially in France: there is a lot of stereotypes such as a Black woman being the cleaning lady or a Black male criminal. We don’t have a full Black movie because it is viewed as being communitarian, which is pretty bad in French. I’m also not a big fan of all these commercials with interracial couples with a White mother and a Black father. Why not the opposite? Or a Black couple? Again, it shows diversity but not too much! Representation is so important because it shows kids that it is possible to achieve. If you don’t see it, you don’t know that it is possible.
I feel I have already been reborn and my soul is living a new physical experience on Earth! I’m so proud of everything that I’ve been through because they make me the strong woman that I am today, and thanks to that I can help Afro-Caribbean men and women in their spiritual journey with my coaching program.
I am part of the population who took advantage of this craziness to renew themselves professionally, personally, and spiritually. I would be lying if I said that it’s easy every day, especially when loneliness hits me, but it has been highly beneficial for my growth so far. I was (and still am) doing therapy, so it allowed me to take the necessary time to understand my past wounds and heal them as well. My spirituality plays a lot in my mental well-being and keeps hope and faith on the front line of every action that I take.
The main thing that needs to change is people’s mindset and beliefs when it comes to race. I think the most important strength that we have as mixed-race people is that we arrive in the world with a neutral perspective because we grew up around so many different people that don’t necessarily look like us but that we can still call family. I think people should start looking at the person themselves rather than the skin colour, Black or White. I think people should admit that they assimilate stereotypes about what someone should look like and start questioning them to know if they are true. I think people should stop being so focused on race and more on how we can make the world a better place.