Kurdish | Czech
My Dad is from Turkey and my Mum is from the Czech Republic. They both migrated to Aachen, Germany to study. That's where they met. My Dad was working in a restaurant and my Mum walked in there with a friend one day.
My Dad is from a rural area called Erzincan. His parents were from two different Kurdish tribes and didn't speak any Turkish. My Dad was the first person to bring a foreigner to the village and introduced my Mother to the entire family. I quickly understood that the way they were brought up and their relationships with their families differed substantially.
I feel much closer to my Kurdish side of the family in Turkey; it's the sense of community, warmth and the fact that they are more family-oriented which I share. I had more exposure to that part of my culture and a much closer relationship to my Dad.
I don't actively seek balance with my other cultures, they shape me and they're part of me but I feel I have a clear tendency towards the ‘warmer’ part of my culture.
I felt like I never fit in anywhere. I was never with ‘my people’, meaning I didn't share the same nationality or complex culture with anyone. I was trying to fit in but the German culture never resonated with anything I learned from my parents. I felt out of place and thought I was a matter of not being in the right country, which made me move around a lot. This was until I met like-minded people with a mixed background. I felt out of place and lost until my mid-twenties. Once I was in a different environment, I felt normal and accepted, one of the most beautiful things I've experienced. Today I understand that I can chose to fit in anywhere I want because I can surround myself with people who understand the struggle and feel similarly.
From my experience, I always had a lot of explaining to do because my identity is not very straightforward. I often felt like people were trying to fit me in a box as in equating my place of birth or nationality with my cultural identity. That was very draining and made me feel even more out of place.
I often justified myself because people were asking me about my languages and why I'm not fluent in both of my Dad's mother tongues.
Don't give up on explaining your point of view to other people who might not be able to relate immediately. We are all shaped by our environment and people are exposed to different cultural environments. Feeling like you belong is in my experience when people truly accept you for who you are.
People still call me ‘exotic’ or say: ‘wow, that's an interesting mix’. I'm embracing it. I can relate to a variety of cultures because I recognise aspects of my own cultures. Today I clearly see the advantages of my background. But I wish there was more awareness and acceptance. Having said that, I feel like we're slowing transitioning towards a more inclusive society.