Jamaican/Indian | Jamaican/Swedish
I identify as multi-ethnic, religious to my morals but resonate with Stoic and Buddhist teachings. My pronouns are her and I am a straight and strong woman. Both of my parents were born in the UK. My Mum is from Bristol, UK and my Dad is from London, UK. They are both of mixed heritage, my Mum is mixed Jamaican & Swedish and my Dad is Jamaican & Indian. They met at a bonfire night in London.
My parents are quite British in behaviour, but I grew up around a diverse range of cultures within and outside of my family. Food made in the house was mainly European or Caribbean. My parents split up when I was very young and I had to move to Bristol with my Mum as she no longer wanted to remain in London. Any connection to my Indian heritage was primarily made through my friends whilst living with my Mum, I had a big craving for roti and ketchup, wow what a combination.
After I moved back to London and lived with my Dad, I attended my family’s first Mehndi night through a cousin's wedding. I felt very connected to my Asian roots whilst going through that process with my family. When I went to gatherings within my Jamaican side, I also was exposed to the fact that there were Chinese Jamaican relatives and White Jamaican relatives, which made me become interested in my roots even more, especially as my Black Jamaican Grandad on my Dad’s side was mixed-race himself.
I am my own person. I was raised by parents who are very open minded, they were strict but also wanted me to flourish by instilling a responsible freedom within me. They are not judgemental on who I fall in love with when it comes to culture, physical identity etc. What is important how that person’s soul is.
My European grandmother told me that people would disdain her in public because she was with a Black Jamaican man but that is all that I am aware of. I would imagine, although with a little difficulty the unification of my Indian and Black Jamaican Grandparents was a lot more smooth as both of them were persons of colour and were nationally Jamaican, the culture difference was not as huge or as systemically disrespected.
Interracial relationships are a lot more common now. I find they are very visible within big cities such as London, Paris, New York etc as diversity thrives the most in these cities and there’s less opportunity for overt judgement around it. I think I have heard that there are dating apps specifically built for interracial dating’s. I don’t condone for myself personally as I feel we should just fall in love naturally with whoever we gravitate towards and not base it on physical attributes but who they are as a person.
I noticed that I was praised for being mixed-race in both a positive way and sometimes in an envious way. It was somewhat ‘fashionable’ to be of a caramel skin colour with curly hair when I was growing up. It gave me confidence at the time but looking back on that, I realised how sad it was that my Black friends disliked themselves so much that they would try and make themselves look more European (hair perming, wig wearing, skin bleaching etc.) that they would sometimes say ‘you wouldn’t understand, you have good hair’, good hair referring to manageable, mid-long hair.
On the other hand, I had a friend of Chinese heritage who didn’t realise that her actions towards me, twirling and continuously touching my curls, made me feel uncomfortable. She spontaneously apologised a few years ago after educating herself but why didn’t I say anything at the time? Because I knew she did it out of curiosity and admiration of my hair.
Like every other human being who has compassion. I am sad that racial issues are only being taken seriously on a global scale now when it’s been happening for several years. But I am happy that the world has indeed woken up a little. Let’s not get too comfortable, there’s more to be done to guarantee the future generations safety as well as their physical and mental health. I feel we can reduce systemic racism with the right actions asserted so let’s continue to be smart and put in the work. (side note: key words – education, open-mindedness, willingness).
To be honest, I have always acknowledged that even though I am mixed-race I will always be seen as a person of colour which inevitably puts me within the colourist wheel and with that comes prejudice, discrimination, racism. Fortunately, I have not experienced any of that on a traumatising level (yet and hopefully never). I understand that if I was dark skinned perhaps my experience would be a lot different. I could have been picked on frequently as I have seen with friends of mine (who are exquisitely beautiful nevertheless) or even if I was mixed-race but my hair was afro I would be uncomfortable with how to ‘control’ it. Regardless, how I have approached my life is to not put the colour of my skin or my background at the forefront of who I am, I am more than just physical attributes.
I understand the first thing people see is how you appear so you automatically become judged, but in many instances that judgement can be dismantled by how you approach the situation and not have the idea that someone is already making a judgement of you in their head. I believe this is what frees your mind of racial stress. It is not that I don’t see colour that would be counterproductive, it is that I just don’t use it as an excuse for things that make it unhealthily important.
I have travelled around the globe as a dancer and have had many experiences as an artist and as the average human exploring the country. It has allowed me to see the beauty in humans across the globe. I think I have learned the most about my identity and who I am as a person by learning and experiencing cultures that are not my own.
I have visited Jamaica once when I was very young, but I cannot remember it very well. I have visited India for one day to teach a dance workshop and never have I ever been humbled by the love and generosity of the people. I have visited Sweden and Ireland again for dance work and really admire the communal aspects of the countries especially Sweden. I feel Sweden has a very healthy life practice all around. Instead of visiting simply just to learn about my culture I would rather live in these places and be amongst the people to truly understand.
My outlook around my identity has changed growing up. Even though I am very proud of who I am (my heritage, my ethnicity, my cultures), I care less about being identified as mixed-race now and more about being identified as a human being. I am open to evolution so if my view changes then I will accept it with growth.
I am a street-dancer from HipHop Culture and it is one of the most accepting and liberating cultures one could ever come across. However, that is in terms of the culture itself, organisations from the system can always find ways of manipulating the culture to overturn the love and acceptance that resides within.
If I were to be reborn, I would like to be born as the sky because it parallels universes, galaxies and dimensions through space and time. It has the ability to give way to so many intensities e.g. clear skies, grey skies, thunder, lightning, whirlwinds, tornadoes etc and all in the effort to maintain balance.
Art is very dear to me and it is something I have grown up with as my Dad was a musician, a pianist and was preparing to tour with his band before I was born. I was blessed to grow up around music as it gave me another form of expression by responding to it through my body, especially since I was shy. A lot of my understanding of the world came through art. My Dad took me to various museums, exhibitions and events that catered to a type of history as he understood that it was through art, I could best understand the world.
I am now a professional movement artist. My main area of focus is dance and I typically identify with street-dance in HipHop culture. The discipline has allowed me to travel globally from a young age to judge, compete, teach, create, perform and I thank my parents for trusting me to take these journeys and for nourishing my artform with love, respect and appreciation.
HipHop has taught me to be open, to be understanding, to be trusting, to refrain from judging, to be adaptable, to be courageous, to be brave, to be love and to be loved, to be considerate, to be resourceful, to be inquisitive, to be accepting and to be either tolerate or intolerant of what serves me and what doesn’t. To be honest, it has taught me who I am today, and I have to thank my parents and my lineage for that. With that, I will end this by saying I hope you are enjoying yourself wherever you are Papa, your presence is always felt. Mum, I love you.
During the pandemic my time has been spent by bike riding, keeping in contact with loved ones, project planning and moving my body in many ways; Taiji, yoga, walking, dancing, playing instruments, reading, cooking, resting, watching relevant things on YouTube, holistic podcasts, learning French, meeting with friends, fuelling the body with love, breathing practices.