Italian | Palestinian
I identify as mixed-race, Palestinian and Italian. My Mum is from Palestine and my Dad is from Florence, Italy. They met while working and living in London. My Mum came to London to study, as her parents couldn’t afford to send her to school back home, and my Dad moved to London to experience life outside his small home town and to earn a living for himself where there were more opportunities. They met through friends and both had a strong passion to enjoy life and build experiences which sparked their relationship. They did struggle a little in terms of their contrasting backgrounds; mum was from a strict Muslim background and Dad was from a strict Catholic background, but they married for love and have always maintained that.
Both my parents are very family centered and they wanted me and my brother to have strong connections to both sides of our family, so we travelled to Italy and the Middle East often whilst growing up. This meant that I got to experience different cultures and countries from a young age which I am grateful for. I think they managed quite well as I’ve always experienced openness and love from both sides of the family and never noticed much contrast, as they are both from close-knit, vibrant families.
Because I saw that it was possible with my Mum and Dad, I have a very open mind when it comes to interracial relationships. I strongly believe it’s about who you love, not where you’re from, and different cultures should be shared and celebrated.
It did have a slight impact as my Mum had high standards for me and would often interfere in my choices of romantic partners. Often, they weren’t good enough for her and I avoided introducing her to any partners growing up. She didn’t want me to face the same struggles that she and my Dad went through when they decided to be together. But as I grew up in London, where it’s very culturally and ethnically diverse, luckily, I don’t face the same struggles. I typically attract mixed-race men, probably because of the instant connection we have based on our backgrounds, but I've always maintained that I choose a partner that I like and connect with no matter of their social or cultural background.
I’ve always been encouraged to take pride in my heritage, and I enjoy the intrigue from people about my background and where I come from. It gives me an opportunity to talk about and celebrate my routes more and gives me more of a sense of belonging. It's also given me the opportunity to learn about different cultures and experience life from a different point of view. I love that I have friends from lots of different cultural backgrounds and ethnicities.
People were often confused about my ethnicity when I was growing up and I was sometimes confused about where I fitted in, particularly at school. People would start to speculate that I wasn’t White because I had olive skin and curly hair, I was often passed off as ‘exotic’ particularly by men, who’d often be attracted to me for my looks and not much else. Some of the most difficult challenges I’ve faced though, are relating to my Palestinian heritage, as many people I’ve come across either don’t know what or where it is or dismiss me as just Italian without desiring to find out more. I’ve even been told that Palestine doesn’t exist anymore which is upsetting. That has frustrated me growing up as I’ve always been taught to love and respect other people’s backgrounds and naturally expect the same treatment back. What I’ve learnt from that is that everyone is on their own journey of discovery and that you can’t take certain opinions too personally.
There’s been a lot of influence from Arabic music as my Mum listened to it a lot and I was exposed to parties and weddings from a young age. I learnt about Arabic music artists like Nancy Ajram from cousins and family friends who I grew up with. I really like the UK music movement at the moment from artists like Geko, who combines Arabic music with UK rap and hip-hop. It’s great to see a connection being made between UK rap and Arabic culture as it's not something I've seen before. My Italian side has taught me lots about good food and using fresh produce to your advantage. Everyone in Italy owns their own vineyard and garden where they grow their own fruits and vegetables and make their own wine, so the food on your table would always be from your own back garden, which is a lovely privilege, and has encouraged me to be more creative in the kitchen. Meals are always a family event, and everyone sits at the table to eat together, which is a beautiful concept, and one that I value in London too.
I have visited both my native countries and I love embracing the family routes. It’s interesting to see how different the culture is compared to being raised in western society; I’m quite lucky that I can be more outspoken and have more freedom to express myself than in some parts of the Middle East where there are a lot of restrictions especially for young people and women. It’s good to see things improving though and women start to be more vocal and present in their communities. I also have lots of extended family on my mum’s side in different parts of the world and I visit my cousins in California as often as I can. It's exciting to find out you have another family member in other parts of the world.
When I was a child, I never noticed I was different. It was only in secondary school where the subject started to really come up; people would ask me where I was from more and were always interested in how I looked. I started to notice that my curly hair made me look ethnically different, and that my skin wasn’t the standard definition of ‘white’, which to most people meant ‘English’. I've always seen myself as mixed-race and have been able to embrace that more as I’ve got older, as people are less judgmental and more understanding of what mixed race actually means.
If I was born again, I would return as myself, only bilingual, as I think if I was fluent in both my native languages, it would brighten my communication skills, and I’d be even more connected to my roots.