Irish | Indian
I wouldn't have the friends I have today if it wasn't for the pandemic, I stayed in London and built a really amazing group of friends who I rely on and love.
Growing up, I was always much closer to the Indian side of my family. My Grandparents were a vital part of my upbringing and for them Diwali and Jain festivals were culturally very important. We celebrated Christmas with all the trimmings, but Boxing Day was a turkey curry, I really think that sums up my upbringing. In general, we used to visit India every two years until I was doing exams as a kid. Gujarati is very much my Mum's second language, we always spoke English at home and unfortunately I never learned Gujarati. As my grandparents have gotten older, they slip into speaking Gujarati more and more regularly, but their grasp of English is definitely better than mine!
I've always felt like I've never fitted in at predominantly Indian events, I'm noticeably ethnically ambiguous, whilst I understand and appreciate my Indian culture, I've always felt British, I've been referred to as White passing numerous times in my life and I really feel like this detracts from the experience I had growing up between cultures but never fully being one. I think as I've gotten older, I've realised very few people understand this and always feel an affinity to other mixed-race people.
I’ve only visited India on holiday, and never really felt connected. I don't look Indian and I don't speak the language. I think people hold me in high regard there as I'm fair skinned and have European features, I don't think that'll change any time soon.
As a gay male, I've tackled with both hiding my sexuality and my ethnicity. I apply the same logic to both, if someone asks I'll tell them. I think I'm worried about being the elephant in the room, whilst I don't want to deviate from the norm, being gay in a hetrosexual society is hard enough, I don't want to give people another reason to not understand me.
My Grandad, he can't do too much or enough for anyone. He's loyal, kind and considerate. He grew up in 1930s India and we come from different worlds, but he's always interested, proud and my biggest fan. I hope one day my family looks up to me in the way I do him. My Grandmother was the one who used to cook for me after school, tell me off for running riot and be the one who I'd sit with and watch Zee TV, whilst having no idea what's going on. She's 88 this year and unfortunately not very well. She was rushed into hospital about a month ago and the thought of losing her reduced me to tears on the tube.
I think the segregation by the media and politicians of the ideals of Britishness, we should focus on our inclusivity not our exclusivity. I think sometimes I can be the bridge, I understand two distinct cultures/identities and can feel an affinity to many people who feel like an outsider.
I'm proud of being half Indian. I love the fact I grew up surrounded by incredible cuisine and a different culture. As a child I hated being different to my friends, as an adult I sometimes love the fact it sets me apart. Not at all. Aside from Leo Varadkhar I can't name a single famous Irish Indian! The food! Whether it's at Diwali or otherwise, I think keeping close to the cultural/food aspects of Indian culture is key.