English | Dominican
My parents met in a nightclub in a nightclub in Bradford town centre, my Mum met my Dad’s two older brothers first so recognised him. They bumped into each other a few times again but a couple of years later exchanged numbers. My Mum says she should have known from the start what her life would be like from that point. The first time he called her was 10.30pm, then he was two hours late for their first date! They overcame quite a few obstacles, including concern from my Grandad (on my Mum’s side) who wasn’t initially supportive of an interracial relationship.
Myself and my Dad are very similar, we have a HUGE love for food. I always looked forward to the Sunday’s we would visit my Nanna because even to this day, nothing compares to her cooking. I remember the obvious difference between visiting both Grandparents. Entering Nanna’s house you instantly smelled spices and chicken wafting through the house, there was noise in every room and she was likely having a vodka tonic in the kitchen with a friend whilst odd members of the family were in the living room shouting over each other to tell a story. Nobody had to let each other know when to turn up, you just rocked up and someone would be there, music would be playing and the house was filled with noise. I loved the feeling of being part of that big, fun family.
My Mum grew up with a lot more restrictions, my Grandad was strict and the house was so quiet in comparison. She only has one sibling and my Dad has five, and their personalities show that.
The biggest culture shock for my Mum was the lifestyle of a Black man who is heavily involved in music. My Uncle has always owned nightclubs, and although I thought Bradford had a large Black community, it’s pretty small compared to that of London. That being said, it’s tight knit and everybody knows each other! Over the years, my Uncle’s clubs have ensured the Black community always has a safe space to meet and enjoy music, food and company. My Dad has always worked a full time job but each weekend would support my Uncle, be that on the bar, the door or on the dance floor and the Caribbean time to close a nightclub is when the last person wants to leave be that 6am or 7am, my Mum definitely struggled with that. His nightclubs and my Dad’s music collection at home have been integral to me learning more about my Caribbean heritage and my love for music. We've always listened to reggae and dancehall. When I was a bit older my Dad was the first person to take me to carnival, to dance on the Dominican float, and it was through this, then working for my Uncle at the bar that I started to really feel comfortable in my own skin. I’ve never been to Dominica, partly because lots of my family moved away and my Great Grandma passed away. We had planned to go pre-pandemic on a big family trip but we’re yet to make it. Myself, my parents and my sister are looking to visit all being well and I can’t wait to get a real sense of what ‘home’ feels and looks like.
During the first lockdown, age 25, I quit my job and started my own company, so coronavirus changed my life in many unexpected ways. I work as a Talent Manager, specifically managing digital creators and have worked in this industry for over 7 years. I’ve always been hyper aware of the lack of diversity within the entertainment industry but more so when I started working in it myself. My surroundings in the office, at meetings and even the conversations we were having about exciting new talent were all the same; White and middle class. During the pandemic, it became more obvious than ever that my values and that of the company I worked for were misaligned. In June 2020, from the kitchen table of my parents house, I left and reflected on what was truly important to me, hence the birth of my company, Season25. We represent digital creators and entertainment talent within the Black community.
My focus at my last company was ensuring that I built a roster of brilliant and diverse talent who I actually connected to as a working class, mixed-race female. I wasn’t supported by the CEO’s, as their focus was strictly on who was the most commercial. The exact issue I was trying to overcome. Their lack of understanding and compassion for the Black community and why I wanted to work with these specific creators versus their need and want to make more and more money for the business resulted in me leaving the business and setting up my own company. I know how lucrative this industry can be and I want Black and mixed heritage creatives to be as heavily remunerated as their White counterparts. Starting my own business in the face of adversity (from my previous employers) has shaped me in more ways than I could have imagined. I’ve always been strong willed but being part of the Black community and an advocate for Black talent has made me even more aware of deep rooted issues within our society and especially within business. As a young female I have had to be confident enough to push myself and know that in most meetings people will be shocked that I’m the founder but not let that shake me, as I truly believe what we’re doing is necessary and making a difference for Black creators.
I’m a light skinned mixed-race woman. At school you could say I was White passing, I straightened my hair to within an inch of its life and glued in extensions. I listened to alternative music and had a fringe for a while to fit in with one type of friend, then I wore tracksuits and listened to 4x4 bassline (which I still love) to fit in with the next group of friends. There were only a handful of Black people at my school and I basically had to act White to fit in, which came easily to me as my whole school life was pretty similar to this. On one occasion aged around 13/14 I went to a friend's house after school, she was new to our area having moved from Norfolk and we were on MSN webcam to one of her previous school friends. Her friend asked me to step out of the room for a second, which I thought was odd. I did out of curiosity ask what the friend wanted to say in private. The girl who sat next to me turned in her chair and looked at me in the doorway and said ‘are you Black?’. I nearly fell on the floor, it was such a shock and of course something I’d never tried to hide but at that point it was clear to me I’d hidden so much of my identity it wasn’t obvious in either my appearance or my personality. I felt real-time scared and replied, ‘no why?’ and she answered ‘oh good, my Dad hates Black people; he carries a knife around just in case’. It was the most surreal situation I’ve ever been in and I felt physically sick. There were only the two of us in the house so I went to the toilet and called my Mum to pick me up. I obviously had to tackle the situation at a later date. It was awful, as I know that her behaviour and opinions were learned from her parents but I also had a lot of work to do on myself, I felt really ashamed and angry that I wasn’t being true to myself. I could never change my skin colour but I could be Black and proud, and stop shying away from the things that make me unique. My hair, my culture, my love for music and my amazing family.
The school education system needs to be addressed and rebuilt. In order for us to grow up with understanding and compassion for other races, religions and cultures we need to be taught about them at home and at school. Our schooling system skips out huge parts of Britain's colonial history and the reason why Black and Brown people even exist in this country. We also need a new approach to hiring within businesses that starts from the top. Until we have Black and Brown CEOs and senior level management, we cannot properly tackle racial equality and racial equity. The government and the make-up of our MP’s right now does not accurately reflect the UK. The UK’s poorest areas, where many minorities live, do not have access to the things they need to help them excel in school and work. Unless you have the support and financial support of your family as a Black or Brown person in the UK, the odds are stacked against you succeeding. I know that white privilege plays a part in my being able to move to London and start my career, but I hope that my business continues to create opportunities for young Black people in the UK. I feel conflicted knowing that my Black female counterparts may not have had the same opportunities but I will do my very best to make sure that I can play a part in changing that, and will always challenge my White friends to do the same as an ally to underrepresented communities.
I love my crazy curly hair, my freckles and even my pale skin. I feel comfortable now knowing who I am and what makes me, me. My identity struggles in the past have made me a stronger person today. When I was trying to ‘fit in’, mainly due to Eurocentric beauty standards. I couldn’t stand the sight of a hint of frizz in my hair. Now it’s my favourite part of looking in the mirror. It’s sad as I feel like I lost a lot of time worrying about not being Black enough, not looking White enough, not being dark enough or generally feeling confused. I think we all go through an identity crisis but I do sympathise with any young mixed-race person growing up in a predominantly White area, where they feel a little stuck.
As a child, I was constantly comparing myself to other mixed-race children. Why wasn’t I as dark? I wished I had the same complexion so people would instantly know who exactly I was. I hated being racially ambiguous as I felt as though my identity was being decided for me by somebody else and that I could proudly identify as Black if I didn’t look Black. With age comes confidence from life experiences, from your own learnings, your own connection with your culture. As I grow older I think this will continue to evolve. I want to travel more, visit the Caribbean and try to understand on a deeper level what makes up that half of me. My worry for the future is, if I have children, be it with a White person, would they feel a connection to their heritage? I know already that if that is the case, I will be fiercely passionate about building their culture into everyday life and making sure they love who they are.
My traditions are generally in relation to specific celebrations and ways of life. I’ve never been to a funeral like a Caribbean funeral. I can’t speak on behalf of all Black people as African culture is again different to my own. Caribbean funerals are a HUGE celebration of life, the party, the music, the food and the atmosphere is just not comparable to that of a British funeral. In fact, my Uncle’s funeral was a bigger event than any wedding I’ve ever been to. Caribbean communities also have a tradition called Nine Nights, which is a party nine nights after the death. This is a proper party, I mean carnival style, partying till the next night. I’ve also made sure that I know how to cook Caribbean food, even though it hasn’t always been a staple in my parental household. It’s really important that I know my roots and as a Black woman, know how to cook jerk and rice and peas like a true island girl! Although I’m not strictly religious (I don’t go to church but I do believe in God) I love gospel music, it lights up my soul in a way that no other music does. Of course, I love rum, brandy and I will never miss a carnival season be that Leeds or Notting Hill. I’m proud of my Northern roots too.