Copy of Irish | Egyptian
I identify as mixed-race (Irish/Egyptian), heterosexual and Christian. My Mum is from Ireland and my Dad is from Egypt. They met when my Dad was teaching Arabic at a University in London and my Mum was his student, keen to learn Arabic.
Combining both their cultures was very difficult for both of my parents. My Mum is from a strict Irish Catholic family and my Dad is from a Muslim family. When my Mum and Dad told their families that they were getting married in a non-religious ceremony, both their parents refused to come to the wedding. My Mum’s side of the family were really hurt that she was not getting married in a Catholic church and this made both my parents’ relationship with her side of the family very hard. Over time, their relationship improved, but when I was born, my parents were in disagreement about what religion I should be. I spent my childhood between mosques and churches (which could be confusing at times). However, religion aside, some of the elements of Arab culture and Irish culture can be very similar. For example, both embrace long standing traditions, like music and dance. Eventually my parents divorced when I was quite young, not only because of cultural differences, but some aspects of that certainly did influence that decision. Once they were divorced, they would sometimes argue about me spending too much time learning about one culture and not enough time learning about the other.
I really feel that there is so much value in being in an interracial relationship. You are exposed to different cultures, religions and different settings and I feel so lucky to have been exposed to that as a child of parents from two different backgrounds. However, my Grandparents had very different attitudes. My Mum’s Irish family were keen for my Mum to marry someone from an Irish, Catholic background, and my Dad’s family were keen for him to marry a Muslim woman. Religion played a big part of their justification for this. But I felt that as I grew up and my grandparents saw that being mixed-race had so many benefits, their attitudes started changing.
My experience of growing up in two different cultures has made me so open when it comes to choosing a partner. I would never say that I wouldn’t date a certain type of person, instead I am keen to learn about other cultures and religions and I hope my future partner is of a similar attitude in that sense. Some of my friends who have been brought up in just one culture and one religious background have the opposite view and prefer to marry someone from the same background as themselves, so I definitely think a big part of my attitude to choosing a partner today is down to being brought up between two cultures.
I think being mixed-race opens your world up to exploring different cultures and places. Being Egyptian also makes me an Arab, and being an Arab means being part of a wider political and historic culture which I love learning about. I’m so keen to go travelling around the Middle East and learn how different parts interact with each other. It’s so great to be able to relate to Arab friends and be able to relate to them in so many ways. Equally, it’s great to be able to understand Irish culture and how that interreacts within a European framework. I have so many Irish friends and we can relate to each other over music, dancing and traditions.
Whilst I love being mixed-race, it does come with its challenges. Even though I identify as Irish/ Egyptian, my family in Ireland and Egypt consider me to be British. As an only child, and only cousin living in the UK, this can sometimes make me feel isolated and like I don’t really belong. Furthermore, because both Ireland and Egypt have had difficult relationships with Britain in the past, there can often be some hostility towards me for things Britain has done to those countries. I find that really hard sometimes.
For years I was an Irish dancer, travelling around England and Ireland dancing in competitions. I also attended Irish music schools playing the flute and tin whistle. In relation to my Egyptian side, I did belly dancing for a few years until I eventually became super lazy and stopped. I have also started Arabic lessons to try and improve my small about of Arabic. As a child, I used to spend my holidays half in Ireland and half in Dubai (as my Father was living there instead of Egypt). Being in Ireland helped me learn a lot about my Irish culture, the importance of family and community, music and most importantly humour. Whilst I have never been to Egypt (well, only once as a child but I don’t remember it), being in Dubai used to expose me to the Arabic culture. I remember going to Ireland one Summer and buying loads of clothes with slogans on them and then travelling to Dubai to see my Dad. I started wearing some of these clothes and my Dad told me that they were inappropriate for this part of the world. I was really confused for a while, but after a few years of travelling between both, I started to understand.
I think the older I get, the more I embrace both my cultures. I’m so keen to go to Egypt and learn Arabic. I love the idea of living out there for a while, to be more exposed to my family and their different way of life. I really hope that when I have kids that I can expose them to both my cultures so that they too feel part of them. When I was younger and filling out forms, I was always hesitant to tick ‘mixed other’, because I wasn’t sure if I was British or mixed. Now I confidently tick ‘mixed other’ because that’s who I identify myself as being.
I have to say, until I heard of MixedRaceFaces, I have never really spoken to anyone about being mixed-race. I think in most workplaces a lot more needs to be done to improve the culture to make them more inclusive or different cultures and backgrounds. One way of doing this is encouraging more people from BAME and mixed-race backgrounds to come and work here. That means reaching out to those communities and making them feel like Parliament is a place that they can work. In terms of gender, I am surrounded by such amazingly, strong and inspirational women who I often live in awe of. There is a really supportive culture amongst many of my female colleagues, however I do feel like that culture needs to extend to other colleagues across the organisation. The recent reports that have highlighted workplace bullying and sexual harassment in Parliament shows that more urgent action is needed in supporting, protecting and boosting women within Parliament.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I don’t think I would want to change, I feel blessed to have been brought up the way that I have and even those parts of my life that have been difficult, I have learnt so much from.