Indonesian | Seychellois
My Mum is Indonesian and my Dad is from Seychelles but grew up in Kenya, Mombasa and moved around a lot in East Africa from Tanzania to Zimbabwe. His family are of Sri Lankan descent but his Mother (my Grandmother) is 1/4 French,1/4 Chinese and 1/2 Sinhalese Sri Lankan. They met in London when they worked in McDonald's in Kilburn. I still laugh at this random moment. The restaurant still exists till this day!
My Mother came here to London to work for the Indonesian Embassy for a few years originally and my Dad moved here with his Mother and siblings in his teens. I grew up with Indonesian culture as my parents split when I was quite young. So I had always thought I could identify as Indonesian as I went to Indonesia regularly, loved their food and I speak Bahasa. My Mum would take me to Semarang in Central Java where she was born and the capital Jakarta to see my family.
I only recently found out from my recent visit from my Grandma last year about her side of her family being French Chinese and my Grandfather being from Sri Lanka (Sinhalese). This was a shock in the beginning as it changed a whole perspective of myself as I had always told people I was Seychellois not knowing there are so many cultures and races embedded within it.
I also was raised from the age of 10 by my cousin (whilst my Mother was away on business trips) who is like a second Mother/sister to me in London and she married a Tamil Sri Lankan whose family I also view as extended family. I also identify with their food and the culture and language.
I think if I were to choose a partner I would expect them to be open minded and respectful of different cultures as I would be too. When I was younger, I had major identity issues growing up as a teen. I looked nothing like my Mother (apart from my eyes and nose) but everything else was my Dad. It was hard as I didn't have another culture to identify with growing up so I tried so hard to fit in from straightening my thick curly ringlet hair to making myself look lighter or adding a wing-liner to the end of my eyes to accentuate them more. I felt so frustrated as I felt I was the only one like this.
My view on interracial relationships is that it's a thing to be proud of and embrace it. My Mum's parents passed before I was born but I knew my Mum had a bit of stick from her side of the family in the beginning as she was the first to marry outside of her race. But her family have always been so loving and accepting of me. I could say the same about my Dad's side of the family too.
My cousins back home would always refer to me as the ‘English cousin’ whilst in London my friends referred to me as the ‘Indonesian girl’, I tried so hard to prove to people back home of my Indonesian heritage regardless of being mixed and speaking English. It was me who wanted to learn my Mum's native language as well as the formal language so I could communicate better with my cousins and other relatives back home. I'm glad my Mum encouraged this!
People confuse me with all kinds of different cultures, from Indian, Nepalese, Malaysian, Filipino and Sri Lankan. The list goes on. I now quite like the idea of people not being able to figure out where I am from. I embrace it. It is what makes me unique.
I have been to Indonesia plenty of times as a child and teen from Jakarta to Bali but I haven't been back for about 8 years now. I lived in Jakarta for 1 year and went to an International school when I was 8, that's when I learnt so much as a child. My next trip to Jakarta is definitely on the cards and I would also like to explore other parts of Indonesia like Yogyakarta. I would also love to visit Kenya and the Seychelles to find out more about my Dad's side of the family.
My outlook has changed drastically from when I was a child to an adult. I embrace the fact I have loads of cultures embedded in me. I see it as unique rather than an outcast. I'm learning to accept my flaws and my good traits. I used to get worried about what my child would say if they were asked where they were from but now I am not so worried as society has changed a bit.
In the education sector I feel there are representatives of my ethnic background to a degree, but it is all dependent on where you are working in the area.
If I was to be reborn I would return to my Mum's native island Semarang as it's so calm and peaceful there and the people are so lovely and easy-going.
During the pandemic I spent time listening to podcasts, reigniting passion in painting canvas in acrylics, watching interesting or nostalgic movies/documentaries, video-calling family and friends regularly, yoga, going for walks, listening to music and BTS (sorry not sorry), practicing self-care both with beauty and the mind.