Polish | Chinese
My Mum originates from Poland and my Dad was Chinese Malaysian. My Dad moved to the UK as a teenager and didn’t meet my Mum until years later when she was in London doing a course to learn English. They met over a phone call! Both my parents were always extremely open in sharing and exploring each other's cultures so it never felt like one was more important than the other. Although in many ways their cultures are far apart, one thing that really binds them both together is a shared love of dumplings. For Wigilia (Polish Christmas) we would spend the day making Pierogi as a family but sometimes we’d end up making Chinese dumplings too if there was any pastry leftover. Going for Dim Sum with my Asian relatives for CNY was an equally important dumpling themed occasion.
The question ‘where are you from’ really bugged me so I would always just tell people I was British. My identity has definitely always been confusing for me. I feel like I connect equally with both of my parent’s cultures but now that I am older, I feel like neither culture fully sees me as one of their own. London is probably the place that feels the most like home, it feels like the one place I can experience all aspects of my upbringing as it is so multicultural. I visit my grandparents in Poland every year but I have only been to visit my relatives in Malaysia a handful of times. I would like to go more often but sadly it’s just too far away. One day I’d love to go to Fujian, China, where a lot of my ancestors come from.
“You look like you play the violin’ is actually something people say to me a lot. There are a lot of stereotypes surrounding Asians in the classical music industry. I don’t think there is nearly enough Asian representation in the media. Lack of representation definitely made me feel like more of an imposter while I was growing up. When I was a child I was ashamed of my asian side and would refuse to learn any Chinese. I think I appreciate my mixed identity more and more as I get older. I also have more confidence to stay in touch with my relatives now so that helps too.
I feel like it is easier for interracial couples nowadays if they were both brought up in the UK but I still think it’s hard if there are huge cultural differences.
I think teaching British children about the crimes of the British empire would help put a lot of things into context. I also think that there is a lot that needs to be done to tackle harmful stereotypes.
I’ve had good days and bad days during the pandemic, trying to keep myself occupied with my master’s degree in classical violin.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would return just as I am but my younger self would have agreed to go to Chinese school on the weekends.