German/Pakistani | Danish/Pakistani
I’m a German-Danish-Pakistani who’s spent his childhood growing up in Pakistan. I grew up in a majority Muslim household but am not particularly religious. I like to think I’m a good mix of the East and West but identify the most with my Pakistani roots since it’s where I grew up. Both my parents are mixed race, my Mother is German - Pakistani and my Father Danish - Pakistani. Both grew up in Pakistan and their story goes way back into their childhood when they first met and fell in love, right before heading out for college in the 70’s. They were going strong till my Father passed away from cancer a few years ago.
Reflecting back it was quite an interesting family dynamic because growing up in Pakistan made it the more prominent culture in our lives but we had a good mix of Eastern and Western family values and celebrated the best of both worlds. So we’d celebrate both Christmas and Eid, went to an international school, and loved food from all three. We mostly spoke in English but I think that’s more because it was the common language that my grandparents shared which was then passed onto my parents.
As a family we are quite open to interracial relationships, my Grandparents were the first to marry someone from a different culture so its quite normal for us. Growing up I noticed how adaptable my parents were socially and they were quite adaptable to different groups of people. I think that’s also carried on to my siblings and me. I think it’s definitely easier to connect with someone who is exposed to a multicultural environment but they don’t necessarily have to have a multicultural background. But at the same time I’m looking for someone that shares the same interests as me.
I really enjoyed growing up mixed-race and as a child I was quite proud of the different cultures in my life. It’s funny because people can never really guess where I come from and it’s a good conversation starter. I also feel like you have a different perspective on life and can bring something different to the table whatever you do.
I found it quite challenging once I moved to Germany after high school because I was living in quite a multicultural environment back in Pakistan and found it difficult to adjust to the emphasis on one culture as opposed to a combination of three. Suddenly, the German culture I knew was not exactly the culture there, so it was a big adjustment and I felt more Pakistani than I had ever felt before. I realized I was looking for something more and found that I felt more comfortable in multicultural environments, which is why I was attracted to Amsterdam.
The beautiful thing about our world today is music, fashion, food, dance, are shared by so many cultures and you can connect with people who have lived such different lives as you. For me the biggest connection is food but if you really want to connect to people you need to learn the language, I didn’t do that and felt I wasn’t able to have the conversations I really wanted to have. Visiting relatives in all three really showed me what my native countries were all about. You get a taste of the customs, food, music, and values. My Grandmother’s also had a big role to play because they kept on their traditions despite living in Pakistan.
My childhood shaped and continues to shape my outlook on life and what I envision my future to be. I definitely see myself living in a multicultural city and enjoy working in that environment. I work in quite an international environment that pushes for inclusivity, so no complaints there.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I wouldn’t want it any different!