German | Japanese
I identify as German/Japanese, Agnostic & Bisexual. My Father is German and my Mother is Japanese. They met when my Mother went to Germany on a university exchange. I first knew I was different when I moved to an English primary school where I became aware that nobody looked like me. I first realised that it was because I was mixed-race when I went to secondary school and I related more to my South Asian peers than I did to my White ones. I think it was from a shared experience of being a third culture kid.
I have childhood memories of Japan, but I spent my formative years in the UK. It absolutely affects how I identify with my heritage. Because the influences outside my family were mostly British, my humour and cultural references are from here. I kept in touch with my heritage with TV, books and food, but I still feel a disconnect when meeting Germans or Japanese people because I don’t fit their expectations. My last workplace was very diverse and often people made automatic friendships via their shared nationalities. I will never have that.
My Dad was keen on assimilating into Britain, but my Mum was more proactive in representing her culture. I went to a Japanese Saturday school for ten years. It was tough, especially because I was trying to minimise my Asian identity to prevent myself being subject to racially charged comments and racist jokes. However, now I am glad that it allowed me to maintain a stronger link to my heritage which would have probably been lost otherwise.
I struggle to identify with any nationality. I have a German passport and was born there, but never lived there; Japanese people don’t see me as Japanese because of my European features. Many people see me as British, which is fair because of my accent (thank you BBC News) and my mannerisms. But I can’t identify as British after Brexit, which is threatening my future in this country. I’m not eligible for residency or a British passport.
I consider myself to be a cultural chameleon thanks to my background. I have a hugely diverse taste in both food and music, and it’s often the first way I can connect with people from different backgrounds. We can always find a mutual interest! English is my first language, but I have a flair for picking up foreign languages. I wish I could speak both my parents’ languages to a native level, but I still appreciate that I am able to speak several languages.
I went to the hairdresser once and she asked me what ethnicity after touching my hair. She could tell immediately from the texture that it wasn’t European, but also not Asian. I found that quite funny.
Having a foot in the eastern and western world has given me a strong understanding of the differences between both, culturally, politically and socially. But it also has made me perceptive and open to other’s experiences. I enjoy meeting people from different cultures to challenge my own preconceptions. We can find common ground in our differences. In particular, I’ve recently learned a lot more about different African cultures which I didn’t have much exposure to before, and hearing my friends share their deep and rich history and culture is such a joy.
When I was younger, I used to try hard to blend in, which was more difficult because I looked more distinctly Asian than I do now. Now I’m mostly perceived to be White which makes it easier, but I no longer have any interest in doing so. People can perceive me however they like but I am comfortable in myself and have mostly made peace with my identity. I don’t need to make others comfortable by putting myself into a category for their benefit. I’m also much more willing to challenge people who have prejudice of a culture with no understanding.
If I was born again, I’d want to return the same, but to a world where nobody questions your identity. My childhood struggles with my identity shaped me as an adult, but as the number of multicultural children increase, it is sad to think they would be subject to the same prejudices and associate negative emotions to a unique life experience. I hope that the world will move forward and leave their prejudice in the past where it belongs.