English | Malaysian
I identify as mixed-race; English & Malaysian. I am Atheist & Heterosexual. My Father is from Bexleyheath, England. My Mum is from Penang, Malaysia. They met in Portsmouth when my Mother came to the UK to study. Due to Malaysia being a Commonwealth country the gulf between the two cultures was not that large. My Grandparents although initially shocked my Father was dating 'an Asian' soon came to terms with it.
I think interracial relationships are far more prevalent today and therefore widely accepted in the UK, although in some fringes of society depending on the cultural background there is still some racial taboos about inter-racial couples. The further back in time you go, the more this cultural taboo manifested itself in mainstream British society. Particularly in my Grandparents generation.
I try not to let my cultural biases define my life choices, although subconsciously I may have a proclivity to people that have had similar life experiences to me, i.e. mixed-race, grew up in the UK and abroad (went to international school). And my relationship history probably supports that theory.
I love being able to (almost) feel at home in two countries, I also have a variety of people I can call friends from the different cultures, which has enriched my life. But growing up I had a feeling of not belonging to either culture. Living in the UK I was known for being Malaysian and in Malaysia I was known for being English. I suppose it is easy for people to see what is different from you and label that difference.
I suppose now living in England I am continually connected to that culture and the family I have here. I play computer games with friends in Malaysia still whilst in the UK (PC computer games are a cultural pastime there), and occasionally I visit Malaysia to see my family. I lived in Malaysia for 3 years from ages 15 to 18, however I went to international school there so the cultural experience was not a true reflection of everyday life for most Malaysians. More 'crazy rich Asians’ with a sprinkling of expats.
I am now completely accepting of my mixed-race ethnicity and see it as a huge positive in my life. Growing up I suppose everyone seeks a cultural identity to belong to and being told you are neither and both of two cultures takes some internalising as an adolescent. As you age, you become more sure of who you are, and understand that everyone is insecure of something. There is so much more to life than worrying about other people's (often inaccurate) perceptions about who they think you are. I think it is far more important to judge yourself on the merit of your actions and the quality of your decisions so that you can decide for yourself, the person you want to become.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would want to be exactly the same. There were times growing up that I struggled with my mixed-race identity, but I feel it has, as an adult, made me a broader person with a wide global perspective and a wealth of friends that live around the world.