English/Irish | Pakistani
I’m a half-English, half-Pakistani Muslim. My Mum is Irish/English and my Dad is Pakistani. They met in Dubai, UAE in the early 1990s. My Mum made the big move to Dubai, which was nothing like it is now, to work for the Royal Air Wing and my Dad had lived in Dubai since he was a child. My parents were lucky enough to meet at a dinner with mutual friends, fall in love and get married!
I don’t think they found mixing their cultures too difficult at the beginning. In a strange way, there are lots of similarities between Irish and Pakistani culture. The importance of family and food being two of them! I’m very proud of my parents. I know it wouldn’t have been easy for them to get married. But they’ve gone against all odds and proved they are still as strong and as in love as they were 25+ years ago! They’ve also done a great job at raising my brothers in two cultures and making us feel like we belong in both.
Even though my husband is British Pakistani, I didn’t choose to marry him because of his Ethnicity. However, for me personally, my religion (Islam) is very important to me and is an integral part of who I am so I always knew I wanted to marry a Muslim.
I think I was quite fortunate being born and raised in Dubai. Even though I went to a British school, I had classmates from all over the world. It was very international. I never really felt different. I only became self-conscious of being ‘mixed’ when I moved here for uni. I’m now very comfortable and proud of my mixed-race identity and not ashamed of either of my cultures.
I quite like how people can’t really ever work out where I’m from. It sometimes comes in handy when I travel. I can sometimes brag that I’m a local and not get charged tourist prices!
I’ve been called derogatory terms from both ‘sides’ (White English and Pakistani’s). I remember being called a racial slur when I was 10 years old by a boy in my class and not taking any notice or offence to it until I came home and told my parents. But I’ve also had many negative experiences with Pakistani’s too. I’ve had things said about me being a ‘daughter of a White woman’.
I love Pakistani culture. I love food, fashion, music and language (still working on my speaking skills though..). For my wedding, I wanted to incorporate both of my cultures. I wore a traditional bridal lengha but made sure to include typical English flowers like peonies and ivy into the décor. I also had a mixture of songs; Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and Nat King Cole in one playlist!
I visited Ireland for the first-time last year with my Grandmother. We were only there for a weekend and stayed in a very rural town, but I absolutely loved it! Everyone was so kind and welcoming, and it really felt like I had known them for years. I’ve visited Pakistan many times. Karachi, where my family is from, is probably one of my favourite cities in the world.