Dutch | Vincentian
I would identify myself as a straight Dutch/Caribbean girl who believes in someone who does good things will receive good things back. I am interested in Buddhism and Shintoism. The path of different gods is something I believe in, but I don’t believe in the fact that they made the world. So you could say I believe in science. My Mom is a typical Dutch woman who is originally from Amsterdam but was growing up in Aerdenhout. My Dad is a nice and funny Caribbean man who grew up in St. Vincent. They met in the kitchen where both my Mom and Dad worked.
It was quite hard for my parents to combine their cultures if I believe my Dad’s words. My Mom was not used to my Dad’s culture. My Dad was a hardworking man who could not go to school because he had to provide for the whole family. My Mom was growing up with my Grandma, a woman who loved to party and dressing up her children in the most beautiful clothes.
I think it’s better to have an interracial relationship today. The people are so much more accepting than they were years ago. My Mom had to hear lots of comments on people because her children were half Black and half White. She even got asked in a park where she adopted us. I don’t think people are that ignorant anymore. They know now that it’s okay to have an interracial relationship.
My culture will not have an effect on the way I choose my partner. I have been growing up with two different cultures, so I have learnt the best things of both worlds. My family is always really supportive. My Mom and Dad always told me they would love me. They don’t care if my partner is female, male, Black, White, Asian or believe in different gods or believe in none. They always told me that the most important part about finding a partner is that you have to find someone who would love you 200% back.
I don’t know if I really have a positive experience. It sounds weird but I got a lot of compliments about my complexion but that doesn’t feel positive to me. I think the positive thing about being mixed-race is being raised as a bilingual child, having advantages in learning new languages and making yourself understandable in different countries.
I have faced challenges based around my identity. I never really belonged somewhere. I am always the mixed kid in the crowd. I grew up in a small town where we had 5 Black kids in school. Two of them were my sister and me. My sister got bullied a lot because of her complexion. I didn't really get bullied a lot but I was more of an attraction to the Moms of the children in the class. It was cool having a different coloured friend at a birthday party. So I was mostly invited to people their birthday for being different. I always felt sad about being different hearing comments about being put down in the sun too much or if I fell in poop when I was a baby. Now I am 24 and still don’t feel Dutch neither Caribbean. I am too White to be Black but to Black to be White. So I try to make the best out of it. And I am a proud Caribbean mixed woman but I still feel sad that sometimes you just don’t belong.
I love Caribbean food. My Dad is the best chef and I love learning to make the dishes he used to get from his Mom. I feel connected to my Dad roots. My Dad forced me to listen to Soca when I was young I loved it but it was a bit much for me. I speak English, the native language of my island. My Dad never wanted my sister and I to speak Jamaican Pahtwa so we never learnt it. I don’t really like lots of Dutch stuff. I don’t like their food or music. I do speak Dutch and I love the fashion but that’s all. I have never been to St. Vincent but I would love to go there and finally meet my family.
My connection to my identity has changed a lot. I used to wish I was a White girl. I would only think blond hair; blue eyes are pretty and I would never live up to that standard. I learned to love myself for everything I have. I have an amazing culture behind me and I will learn to love myself every day. I still have the insecurity that I had when I was 8 years old but I will learn to work with it and be proud of both my cultures.
My workplace is pretty good one. My workplace is all about being yourself and expressing yourself. I think this place made me think about being myself more and more.
If I would be born again I would love to be born as a mixed child again. It’s sometimes hard because you don’t really fit in both cultures, but you are also a fact of love. Love that doesn’t stop by colour of skin or religion. I would love to give my child a better chance to accept being mixed, because I would understand what is going on and make sure she/he would know he belongs here as much as any other child.