Angolan | Mozambican
My parents met in Portugal after civil wars that happened in both Angola and Mozambique. At that time a lot of people fled to countries such as Portugal or Brazil. They met in their 20's through a mutual friend that introduced them at a dinner party.
They have very similar culture as they are both African countries which were colonised by Portugal, making them part of the group PALOP (Países Africanos de Língua Oficial Portuguesa - Portuguese speaking African countries). My Mum didn't travel with her Mother, my Grandma, as she stayed in Angola looking for her husband, my Grandad, during the war. My Mother went with an Aunty and Uncle with more cousins. My Father went with his family, after they met my Mum became very close to my Fathers side of the family. My Fathers parents were always very accommodating and family oriented, making it a home for everyone.
They described that era as wholesome as they would always be at my Grandparents house having dinner and then doing warming activities such as playing guitar by the fire and snacking on traditional foods with my Fathers siblings and their wives, who were big on card games!
Fortunately I was exposed equally to both of my cultures, and even though they are similar in some regards they can also differ. From foods to music, and common generalised behaviours one might have being from that country, however growing up in London I was affected by London's culture as well as my own. I spent a lot of time with both my Mum & Dad’s sides of the family, both feeding my soul with their unique cultures balancing me which I'm grateful for.
Growing up, I always questioned who I was as I would never fit into one category. It's a common thing, and I don't like repeating it, but the truth is you find yourself searching for where you fit in. I don't think you notice it when you're super young. I never did. I had friends and as children you played with pretty much everyone, but then, as we get older, you slowly start gravitating to people who are on the same frequency as you. I was always asked questions about where I was from and having people guess where I was from all the time was like a game to them and it still is but I don't take offence, I'm now comfortable in my skin and understand that my features are unique and not distinctive to one specific place and that's ok.
I felt awkward sometimes or even uncomfortable telling people exactly where I was from because they would react as if I shouldn't be from there, which made me question and doubt myself a lot. Then slowly, as I grew up, I started to embrace where I was from and understand my cultures. But I also think that people have become more aware of differences within people and are more accepting of it. Even though there's still a long way to go, now that I'm older I take pride in where I'm from and I use it to inform people and teach people as some don't know where some of the countries are in the world.
There have been a few occasions when I was with either my Mum's or Father’s side and did not know what they're referring to with food or music, but then through time what helped was that I learnt more about each culture and started to become more aware. There would be times in school at a younger age where people would separate into different regions or cultures and I wouldn't have a specific one to relate to. Even if there was one I'd be questioned for picking it, I’d then have to explain, which didn't feel great. It was confusing a lot of the time because I didn't know what 'group' I belonged to. What helped was actually my close close friends who saw me as just me and understood that I have different parts that make me who I am. In school that meant I knew I was of African heritage and just because I have a different complexion doesn't make me not African. My friends helped others see that and would then explain with me in some situations.
There's many things that come to mind and many things that actually happen and it's not a build up of things or one specific event, it's a range of experiences that you then reflect and question. Just stripping it to its core and really posing the question of who am I? I have so many mixes within mixes that it becomes a question I ask and then there's only so far back you can go. A personal ongoing challenge is job interviews or casting (as am an actor) to describe where you're from on the form (which is now much better as they have a range of options). But then the explanation of that is a slight challenge as you don't want to go into full detail about generations but you also want them to know where you're from so that can be a challenge. It is just questioning where I'm from and then having other people question it, but explaining it as well in professional environments.
When I was younger and unaware I may have hidden the fact that I was actually of African heritage. Growing up in an era where being African wasn't 'cool' or 'popular' and just me being so uneducated of where I was from due to age, it became a thing of me just saying I was Portuguese and it was easier to say. However now I am older I have slowly let that go and have become a lot more confident and proud to be of African heritage.
If I had to choose a role model I have two very distinctive answers; 50 Cent and Cristano Ronaldo. Both actually have very similar traits; ambitious, confident, their work ethic is unmatched and both came from very tough origins but persevered to be great through dedication and drive, which I can relate to and admire. Even after attaining such greatness and success they still strive to compete and do better everyday which for me is very respectable.
I was called 'coolie' once, it was described as a mix of Caribbean/African with Asian mixed in-between. But actually it's defined as the lower class who would work as labourers. This made me feel offended, not only for myself, but also for anyone who is of that mix and doesn't deserve to be labeled/separated like that.
I admire the Latin American culture, maybe because it's similar to my own. They're uplifting and always are there for the community and for the people. They have rich food and music which can, in some countries, be the heart and soul as it brings people together and unites them. Which is similar to my culture. I admire their traditions and their history, they've come from hardship but have thrived as a community .