African-American| French/Algonquin
I identify as mixed/Black. Ethnically I’m Black American, French, and Algonquin (Native American). Both my parents are American. My Dad is Black and my Mom has French and Native origins. They met in a 90's at a party. The story goes that my Mom was actually dating someone else at the time when my Dad charmed her.
I always knew that I was mixed growing up. My Dad and his side of the family really took it upon themselves to buy me Black Barbies and dolls, and my Mom made sure that there was always a mix, especially when it came to finding ones that looked more like me.
If they clashed about their cultures/race, I never knew anything about it. My Mom supported me when I wanted to dress as rapper Biggie Smalls when I was 12 for a school presentation and I never remember either of them complaining that one parent was influencing me more than the other. And funny enough, my Mom was the one in my family to teach everyone how to do my hair. She was a cosmetologist and pretty equipped at handling my unruly childhood curls. I still remember crying on mornings when my Dad would do my hair, only to have him drive me to my Mom’s, who would work her magic.
My parents never had a problem with interracial dating. Both of them dated everyone, but I know that my White Grandparents weren’t particularly happy with my Mother’s dating preferences, or I guess I’ll say lack thereof. They’re still very much stuck in their ways. And that’s why I’ll probably never introduce them to someone I’m dating. I don’t want them to not like them because they’re Black or like them more because they’re White. But my Black Grandparents are so much more accepting. She doesn’t care who I’m dating as long as they’re nice and respectful and I get married and have children in her lifetime.
I wrote a play called BLACK WOMEN DATING WHITE MEN that had a workshop at the Drayton Arms Theatre in September 2019. Before I wrote the piece, I was (and still am) a radical Black activist. I was under the belief that to be a true activist, you have to champion Black love, meaning that dating White people was pretty out of the question, at least for me. So, it was no surprise that I hadn’t dated a White guy before, making it a huge surprise when I found myself in love with one.
I made BLACK WOMEN DATING WHITE MEN as an assignment during my masters at Goldsmiths University of London. Once I found myself in love with a White guy, I immediately felt this sense of isolation; I didn’t have any friends in my position. Friends who could help me navigate the inevitable clashes and conversations about race that my partner Jack and I were sure to have. So, I decided to find and interview four other mixed/Black women in my position, and it was such a transformative project. I learned a lot, Jack learned a lot, and I feel like no matter who you are, there’s something you’ll take away from it too. My partner Jack has challenged me in so many ways. I’m still a loud, opinionated, radical Black activist, but I’ve changed my own views on interracial dating, and I’m grateful for the lessons that I’ve learned and are still learning.
The positives of being mixed-race have been connecting with other mixed people and being a part of changing the narrative. I feel like a lot of people feel like being mixed means being half one thing and half another, but it really means being one whole, dynamic person. Being Black doesn’t make me less French and being Native doesn’t make me any less either. I’m still all those things whether I’m listening to hip-hop, speaking French, or both.
When I was 19/20 years old, I spent my third year of university in Paris. I call that experience my ‘Black awakening’. I had always known that I was Black before then, but I wasn’t invested in Black activism or the struggles that my people faced. Paris was a huge wakeup call because people were obsessed with my race. I remember my host brother being confused when I told him, ‘Yes, I’m Black. No, I’m not from Africa’. And everyone wanted to know where I was ‘really’ from. As if being a sixth generation American wasn’t good enough. Twice a week, on my walk to university, I’d stop by this fruit shop. The owner would always ask me where I was ‘really’ from, and each morning I’d give him a different answer. Sometimes I was Mexican, sometimes Russian, etc. It was one sometimes fun, sometimes annoying way that I coped with the constant questioning.
The moment that really sparked my activism was one night when I was drinking along the Seine with my friends. These two White French guys were loudly talking about how they hate Moroccans. And somehow, they drifted over to where me and my friends were. The moment they saw me, they said that I was the prettiest Moroccan they had ever seen. I was disgusted. Moroccan or not, I wasn’t going to stand for racism. So, Paris was transformative in many ways. Now don’t get me wrong, I partied a lot, but I also got close to both my French and Black sides in ways that I wasn’t expecting.
I connect to my Black side through everything really. Through food, use of language, fashion, music, memes, all of it. But I connect to my French side in sometimes more subtle ways. I still practice French every day to retain the language, and I read news articles in French when they pop up, but I connect through the culture in more innate ways. Like I love people watching, and it wasn’t until I went to Paris that I realized that people watching is SUCH a big part of the culture. I would also love to learn more and connect to my Native side. I’m hoping to make a trip to Canada with my cousin in the next couple of years, so we can learn more about our ancestors.
I lived in Paris and I’m hoping to go to Canada to learn more about my tribe, but in terms of my Black side, I do one day want to know where in Africa my people came from. I got my Dad an Ancestry.com package one Christmas and it came back saying that he was 30% Cameroonian, which was super interesting. Especially when you think of the fact that the French were the first European peoples that the Algonquins made alliances with and that there are hidden Algonquin words in French. And of course, French is one of the official languages of Cameroon. So, I’m hoping to one day do the test myself and see if I get the same result.
When I was younger, I definitely upheld the mindset that I’m half one thing and half another, and now I’ve shed that belief. I’m one whole beautiful person.
I feel so fortunate that my workplace is inclusive. We’re a pretty small team, and I am the only one of color on the team, but when issues arise and I make my voice heard, everyone listens. Most recently, the owner of the company asked for my opinion specifically during a company-wide meeting. I really do hope that more people of color join our team as we grow, but I’m confident that we’re headed in the right direction.
If I was born again, I’d want to be born when my biological Grandfather was alive. He was an actor (Robert Tessier) who played a Native American a lot. He passed before I was born and our connection to our Algonquin side died along with him. I would have loved to learn more about our tribe from him as well as just have had the opportunity to get to know him.
My passion is playwriting, my playwriting pseudonym is Somebody Jones. I’m not sure where the ‘Somebody’ part came from, but ‘Jones’ was more deliberate. I wanted a name that wasn’t a slave name like my Father’s, but that wasn’t also strictly White French like my Mother’s (Tessier). So, I picked ‘Jones’ because it sounded Black and American. But during a conversation with my mentor, she made me realize that Jones is also a slave name, which was a funny realization. In trying to run from my past, I ran straight into it, and my plays follow the same theme.