Ukrainian | Grenadian

Photo credit: provided by subject

I am mixed-race; Black & White. My Mom is Eastern European, with roots in the Ukraine. My Father is Grenadian (Caribbean). They met after med school. 

They were divorced early, every week I would spend two days with my paternal Grandmother and my Father would come to see us. It was truly like two days of the week I am engrossed in Black culture; food & conversation. Then the other five days I return to my predominantly White neighbourhood and friends at my Mother’s house.

My culture does not affect my choice in partner; however I demand my partner value my mixed-race experience and embrace my desire to embrace the duality versus him suppressing me into accepting one. I am supportive of interracial relationships. I think they are still tough today, however not nearly as tough as they were for my parents/grandparents. However, a relationship is a relationship, and this will require patience, advocacy, and education on behalf of both partners. It’s worth it for love though.

I hide my identity, or rather ‘mask’ my identity, through my hair. When I am with my predominately White friends, I tend to straighten my hair to look the part of Western beauty. When I am with my Black friends, I tend to wear my hair curly and big to embrace my natural curls and the movement on natural hair beauty.

Just saying out loud ‘I identify as mixed-race’ is still uncomfortable sometimes. People immediately question my response or go on the defence in trying to persuade me the identity society likely puts upon me. Being comfortable having those conversations is still a challenge, but it’s necessary. 

I have visited Grenada three or four times. I can’t remember some of the earlier visits because I was too young, but it was a cultural shock. I remember meeting family members that I had only heard of in stories. I remember feeling overwhelmed as they were mentioning parts of the island, foods and culture that I was completely unfamiliar with. My favourite part of the experience was being with my Uncle Terry. I remember he asked me what I wanted for dinner one night, and I responded with ‘chicken’. He then walks to the backyard where he had a small barn that I must have completely missed when I first arrived. He asks me to choose a chicken for dinner. I am not an idiot so I know this is the start of the cycle for preparing poultry for consumption, however the realization that we are not going to a grocery store, but rather I was going to learn how to properly prepare a chicken dinner was just astonishing (and traumatizing).

I think there is great responsibility in being mixed now as an adult. In the wake of the racial tension facing the United States, I find that I am uniquely positioned to bridge the conversations and allow for meaningful conversations. It’s like an unwritten and unknown job description that comes with being a mixed-race individual, especially those who are White/Black.

My workplace is 3B in global sales, we have no diversity and inclusion initiative. Upon leaving in July 2020, I was able to successfully initiate the first D&I plan, establish an employee resource group, and get MLK day as a company observed holiday. 

If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would want to return as myself. I would make the same mistakes and get myself to where I am today because I live life like I have only one shot at it and therefore, whatever I accomplish in this life, I promise it was to the greatest extent that I could.

Being both Black and White in 2020 has many layers of complexity. I feel the need to be the voice of Blackness, educate those born with privilege, and recognize my own inherent privilege, all while navigating the pain and frustration of the implicit bias and racial prejudice thrown upon the Black community. At times I feel I should speak up and speak out. At times I feel I should sit down, listen, and empathize.

I also run a startup called @mixedmillennial providing Handcrafted, meaningful jewellery designed to empower YOU and embrace your identity.