Swedish | British/Trinidadian

Photo credit: provided by subject

I identify as a 23-year-old half-Swedish, quarter-British, quarter-Trinidadian gay man. My Mum is from Sweden, and my Dad was born in the UK but grew up in New Zealand to a Trinidadian Mother. After moving to London around the same time in the early 90s, they met in Camden, upon which my Mum was a waitress and my Dad was a musician in a band. 

My Mum certainly shared her Swedish culture with my Dad, as she would cook traditional Swedish food, would visit her family in Sweden with him and would speak Swedish to me & my sisters when we were very young. It is definitely something he truly embraced, and it's fair to say he fell in love with Sweden as a whole. In terms of my Dad, he predominantly just introduced my Mum to West Indian food that he thoroughly enjoyed making.

As I've gotten older, I have truly come to embrace my ethnicity and have had failed relationships with White British men. I find myself longing to find a partner who also has a very mixed ethnicity. I just find it interesting, attractive and a trait I can relate to in someone. I think this is because the previous people I have dated have all been White British men, and I don't think they ever understood or could relate to having such a culturally mixed family. I am now particularly attracted to French and Italian men. Culture in a man is very important.

I have always spoken openly about my ethnicity and have been so proud of it. It is a huge part of my identity that I celebrate, so I have no reason to hide any part of it. Besides, people are very intrigued when they hear about my ethnicity (especially when it comes to dating). As a gay man, I believe love is love. Everyone is entitled to love someone (regardless of the colour of their skin, race, gender, religion, background). In fact, I celebrate that, and I think this comes from the fact my parents had an interracial relationship. There have been so many positives with my identity. Upon hearing my ethnicity, people are very interested and attracted in that aspect. Furthermore, it has also enriched my life with two cultures that are so hugely different and has made my upbringing so much more interesting. To add to this, it's generally just something I am so proud of. 

Having said this, due to the fact my Dad is dark skinned and mixed-race, whereas I am naturally Blonde and very Scandinavian looking, I have had a small handful of people question whether my Dad is my biological Father. There was even one instance where me and my Dad were mistaken as a couple when we went to the cinema! But overall, it's been more positives than negatives.

My Dad grew up in New Zealand and unfortunately, I have never been before. It is still a dream of mine to visit a place that was my Dad's home, where all his childhood memories were and where his family still live. I have only met his Mother twice and have never met other members of his family, which is a huge shame. But in terms of my Mum, I have spent so much time in Sweden. We would go every summer, and even for some Christmas’, to stay with my Grandma and see other members of my Mums family. Some of my best childhood memories are in Sweden. Spending so much time in Sweden, experiencing the culture and growing up around the language has shaped me as a person in some many ways. It certainly has changed. I think as I've got older and particularly after I turned 18, I found myself feeling a lot more Swedish. With age, I have acknowledged that it’s a huge part of me and I have started to embrace it much more now. For example, I try to speak more Swedish with my Mum, I have a Swedish flag in all of my social media profiles and talk with so much pride about Sweden. I have even considered moving there in the future to settle down. I think as I get even older, this will grow even more. However, I do want to enrich myself more with my Dad's culture.

I work at Next in Manchester Arndale, and one of the first things I noticed was how diverse the staff were in terms of ethnicity. To say that my workplace is accepting of all kinds of people would be an understatement. From day one (as a gay man with such a mixed ethnicity), I have felt so welcomed, accepted and valued by not only my fellow employees, but by the management as well. I feel so lucky to be part of such a tolerant workplace, as I am aware there are other workplaces that certainly aren't.

To tell you the truth, there's nothing I would change. I was born in London and then moved to Manchester when I was 3. So have lived in two of the biggest, most beautiful cities in the UK. Not only this, my parents are both of such different cultures and this has truly enriched my life in so many ways. I have also been so lucky with never receiving any true hate over my sexuality and have had a relatively easy time with it (especially from my whole family). So this is something I wouldn't change. I think maybe the only thing I would change would be the year I was born. I was born in 1997, and perhaps would have loved to have been born 10 years earlier so that I could have lived through the whole of the 1990s (which is a decade I am obsessed with). Despite my parents separating 3 years ago, I still have love for them and have carried on celebrating their cultures even more. I am truly proud of who I am and want to share this with others.

I have actually been dealing with the pandemic very well. Despite it being a very hard time for everyone, I have been keeping busy, working out and doing lots of writing. I have been in a good, healthy frame of mind.