Italian/Polish/Indonesian | Indonesian

Photo credit: Gerhard Arends

I identify myself as a Eurasian, or to be exact an ‘Indo’ because I am of Indonesian and Italian origin, supposedly Polish as well but my Grandfather never really taught me anything about that side since he never got to know and meet the source (due to passing during his younger age, so he can’t really remember being with the source ever). Hence why I always identify myself as just Italian and Indonesian. I grew up in a multi-religious family, I myself and my parents are Christian but most of my family members in Indonesia are Muslim, I love that my family is this way. Because of this, I have been exposed to the culture and religious differences and learned to embrace and respect the beautiful differences.

My Mother is Indonesian, she’s from the centre of Java to be exact. My Father on the other hand is Italian, Polish and Indonesian. My Dad grew up in Holland whilst my Mum always lived in Indonesia. They met and knew each other through a mutual friend. Up until my Dad visited Indonesia for a small vacation, they’d only kept in contact as friends, but after they met for the first time they decided to make things serious. Gone through a couple of years of LDR, got married and then of course I came along the way. And then at the age of 3 my Mom and I moved to Holland to be with my Dad. My Mom forcefully had to try and mix in with the Western lifestyle because of moving to Holland, as well as actually living with my Dad who is super western. My Dad adapted the Indonesian culture more into our household to make adapting easier for my Mom and so that she doesn’t experience a cultural shock. My Dad never tried to introduce this now ‘new culture‘ to my Mother, but let her explore it by herself in her own speed.

I think back in the day people would have to think twice more about their opinions about an interracial relationship, but nowadays people finally see the beauty of it. Although not everyone, but I can definitely say the majority does. My Mom’s culture is what I grew up the most with despite growing up in Holland, and also my Mom’s culture is the one with some controversies. So speaking on that behalf, if anything my Mom’s culture definitely affects the way on how I will NOT choose my partner.

Being asked where I’m originated from and the shocked but happy faces I see whenever I answer the question never fails to make me happy. It makes me feel like people are actually interested instead of feeling like they disrespect me.

Until this day I still struggle with fitting in culturally. What’s accepted in culture A will get stared at in culture B, or what’s normal in culture B will get questioned about in culture A. I’m still figuring out on how to be ‘appropriate‘ to each culture without my other culture being disrespected or questioned. An example is, I don’t prefer having rice everyday or having it with every meal so I really don’t appreciate the comments my Indonesian aunties make about me being ‘on a diet and not wanting to become big’, because of not eating rice at that moment. 

I connect through the food most definitely, and the language, I never thought I would say this but this is what definitely made me have a strong connection with the Indonesian culture but I actually like ‘dangdut koplo‘ songs. I used to think it sounded weird but now I can actually relate to those Indonesians who can’t stay still whenever a dangdut song plays.

I have visited my native countries, but since my mom is an Alpha mom I have visited Indonesia way more than Italy. I have always thought my outlook on my mixed-race ethnicity is unique, and it is, it’s just more normalized now. I will always think its unique. Everyone is unique of course, it’s just that it’s kind of crazy to think that you carry different parts of the world in your DNA.

If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would want to return as just myself, I can’t imagine being anyone else. It’s just my life, my adventure, not someone else’s.