Irish | Pakistani
I identify as mixed-White/Asian, Agnostic & straight. My Mum was fully Irish Catholic, she passed away when I was young. My Dad is a Pakistani Muslim. They met in London, when my Mum first came to the country my Dad lived in an area with a high Irish population. They met through a friend. They were shunned by their families but they loved each other so managed to make things work regardless. Having grown up in care I lived with families of all different cultures and being someone of a fairly rare mix I did not know how to identify myself. I always got the question ‘what do u see yourself as more ‘but I didn’t identify with either of my cultures more, I just saw myself as me a young man of mixed Pakistani/Irish heritage or as I like to call it a ‘paddystani’.
I think it’s great that it’s now more acceptable to be in an interracial relationship. People can now more than ever love who they want without fear of judgement or hate. My background doesn’t have an effect on how I choose my partners, having grown up in care I’m in touch with a lot of different cultures and not too strong on one in particular.
A positive effect of my mixed background is that I’ve used my experience of not fitting in with my youth work. I’m able to help others with similar experiences. I’m a youth worker based in South East London, working in youth clubs in estates trying to get young people engaged in positive activities. I also work for an organisation that supports young people in semi-independent housing, supporting them in bettering their lives and preparing them for independence and adulthood. I’m also working on my own business, and in the future hope to create my own charity something that helps young people here while helping others abroad in more deprived countries.
I’ve lived in both Pakistan and Ireland, in one country I was the Whitest and in the other I was the darkest. Based on this I have felt like an outsider in both my native countries. Living in a rural part of Ireland was quite difficult being that I was the darkest person for miles. I attended school there for a year where though the majority were some of the nicest people I’d ever met, sometimes due to a few ignorant individuals I would get into fights due to racist comments. It was a blatant type of racism I’d never experienced in London, having been back since thankfully the part of Ireland I lived has become a lot more multicultural and less ignorant of other races etc. In Pakistan I equally if not more experienced feeling like an outsider, being the Whitest person in the area I had experiences of ignorance and comments. But having experienced similar In Ireland when I was in Pakistan, I tried to teach people more about my background and British culture etc while learning theirs which was so different to anything I’d experienced.
I love to learn about the history of both my cultures but also embrace the positive contributions my ancestors have made to the world. I have learnt I do not need to fit in to one or the other culture and that I am who I am. A person of mixed heritage, I embrace all that has made me who I am and I accept myself I don’t rely on anyone to accept me.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I wouldn’t change a thing. Through my hardships I have learnt so much, I wouldn’t take that back.