English | Nigerian
I identify as White/Black African. I’m half English and half Nigerian. I would say I’m spiritual rather than religious and heterosexual. My Mum is Nigerian (born in Lagos) and my Dad is English (born in Wolverhampton). They met in a bar in Nigeria while my Dad was working there as a contractor.
Growing up my parents made sure we were aware of both my cultures and both practiced elements of their culture they felt were important to my development and awareness of my heritage. A major element in my household surrounded food and my Mum was always making amazing Nigerian meals and tried her best to make sure she passed on her cooking techniques. I believe interracial relationships today are much more accepted than they were in my parent's generation. My Dad was disowned by his family for being with a Black woman. Something I’d like to think is less prevalent today.
I would say my culture has an effect on the partners I choose. I tend to gravitate towards individuals who will have an understanding and celebration of my mixed heritage. However on the flip side, as a mixed-race person I do love the idea of meeting someone of a different cultural background and having more ‘mixed babies’ as a further mix would if anything would open them up to a new culture and experiences which I was lucky enough to experience growing up as a child of mixed-race.
I'd say the biggest challenge I had was as a young child, I was spending a year in England while my Dad was in-between contracts. The school I was placed in was in the Midlands in a predominantly Caucasian area. I still remember going into the playground for the first time and trying to make friends with each cultural group and all of them turning me away. That was probably the first time I truly realised I was ‘different’ and no one else in my year was like me. It felt very lonely as a young child to be in that situation. A couple weeks later another mixed-race girl started in my year and we became best friends solely because we were ‘the same’ we found friendship in being the different ones.
I'd say I connect to my culture mainly through food and music. I find myself craving African meals when I’m away from home and there is a homeliness to sitting down to a meal cooked by my Mum. Music is also a major influence from Femi Kuti I hear at home to Wiz Kid there something about the beat of Nigerian music that I can’t help but dance to. It takes me back to a household filled with my extended family dancing and having the best time while my Dad did the two-step. Those are the two major influences that identify me to my African heritage and two aspects I love. I was really lucky in that I grew up in Nigeria until my late teens and have visited a few times since I moved to England, so I’ve had a really good balance of exposure to both sides of my heritage.
I think as a child my cultures weren’t something I actively thought about. I just wanted to climb the nearest mango tree (which isn’t a bad thing). However, as an adult, my mixed heritage is something I'm fiercely proud of. I love the fact that my parents love for one another in a very difficult time brought and held them together despite their cultural differences and the option of the world at the time. I love that I can act as a bridge between different cultures and because of my mixed background can appreciate different cultures with limited judgement and that isn’t something I see changing anytime soon.
If I was to be born again I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve learned and learning every day to love who I am. I'm English and I’m Nigerian and I wouldn’t change t