Sri Lankan | Ghanaian
I would describe myself as a Londoner first, then mixed-race but I always specify ‘Afro-Asian’ as I think the term mixed-race can be quite vague, especially as in my experience that term can mean a variety of things! My Dad was born in Ghana and my Mum in Sri Lanka. They came to the UK at 13 and 16 and met at college in South London. They’ve been married for 37 years and as my Dad likes to say, they’ve been ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ for about 44 years.
Growing up I was always aware of the fact that my parents weren’t born in the UK, and had family overseas, as well as other cultures that weren’t British. My first holiday abroad was to Sri Lanka when I was four, to meet my Mum’s side of the family. We also travelled to Ghana as children to learn more about our African heritage. We grew up eating food from Ghana and Sri Lanka regularly, interacting with both sides of the family. Whilst my parents both adopted many traditional British cultural norms, they felt it also important to teach us about their home cultures too.
It’s so normal now to see interracial relationships, especially growing up in London. I also feel like you see a lot more mixed-race/interracial families and couples on TV now too – we joke about it in my family that being a mixed-race family seems suddenly ‘cool’. In my parents day though, I think they were definitely not common – especially an African and Asian mix. I think it’s important that my partners understand that my family’s heritage and background is really important to me, and something I’m immensely proud of. As long as they respect that, I don’t think my culture should affect how I choose a partner.
I think having parents from two different continents and then growing up on a third has allowed me to be more empathetic of cultural differences in general, and how to interact with a wide range of people. I’m also really lucky to have a Mum who makes the best curry this side of Colombo! My friends all love her food and she loves cooking for them.
Luckily I haven’t experienced anything that had a lasting effect. I remember as a child not being able to get my haircut in a local salon as they ‘didn’t do my type of hair’ and instead having to travel to areas like Peckham or Brixton, or teachers getting me confused with other students as I was one of only a handful of BME kids in our year. Once I got to dating age, I found one of the first things potential dates would always ask was ‘where are you from?’ to which my reply of ‘London’ would always lead to a follow up question of ‘but no, where are you really from’. I take it as a compliment though, that my hair/complexion etc is obviously a subject of intrigue for some.
Most of my mum’s family still live in Sri Lanka so growing up I didn’t get to see them that often, but through my Mum’s cooking and listening to my Mum speak to her relatives in Singhalese on the phone, I was always reminded of that side of my Mum’s culture. Luckily a lot of my Dad’s family lived in the UK/London so it was easier to connect with them physically and our Ghanaian culture through food, dance, language etc. I also think that ‘Black African’ culture is more prevalent in South London, where I grew up, than Asian cultures.
I’ve only been to Ghana once but I loved it! I remember being fascinated seeing where my Dad grew up and seeing how different it was to the UK. It was also really cool to see so many people that looked like me and my family in one place. I’ve been lucky enough to visit Sri Lanka quite a few times too and have always felt so welcomed by my Sri Lankan family, we definitely get the special treatment when we’re out there. They’re always so pleased too that our non-Sri Lankan friends want to come and visit the island too.
I remember being aware that I wasn’t like most of the children around me at high school, in that my parents weren’t White or from the UK. I’m still aware (especially whilst at university and now in my professional life) that I’m a minority, but I feel even more proud of my heritage, and want to use my mixed-race ethnicity as a way to educate others about diversity and inclusion. I think having had exposure to different cultures growing up has really shaped me and can definitely see the benefit of sharing that experience with others.
I’d 100% be born with the same background and in the UK. I feel incredibly lucky to have experienced other cultures through my parents and extended family, whilst also being able to enjoy the privileges that come with being born in the UK, such as access to great education and healthcare systems. I really do feel like I’ve had the best of both worlds. The only difference I’d make was to make my parents teach me their mother tongues – it would have made interacting with my family overseas a lot easier!