Scottish | Sierra Leonean
I am a gay mixed-race woman. I didn’t come out as gay for a very long time because I thought I’d lose friends and be shunned. I wasn’t shunned and I’m much happier now. I would never hide a part of my identity now.
My Mother is from Scotland, my Father is from Sierra Leone. They met at a bar in Reading. It was difficult for my Mothers side of the family to accept a Black man, but I think my Dad thought he’d made it. I was brought up by my Grandmother who is a strong Scottish woman so I think I have more of an affinity with my White side but I always seek to learn more if I can about my West African heritage. I don’t speak to my Dad anymore so it can be hard.
My Grandmother is my role model. She is the strongest person I know, notwithstanding all the adversity she’s faced. She raised me from when I was a baby right through her retirement and that couldn’t have been without its challenges. She did it all without breaking a sweat and I have her to thank for everything.
It was definitely tough. Comments about me being too westernised and receiving micro aggressions. I had to work hard to prove myself. I’ve learnt from a very young age that I can’t fit in. These days I don’t want to and I find strength in that. There have been a few times where I’ve struggled to fit in culturally, but as the years have gone on I don’t think this is a bad thing. If anything it makes me a better person because I take the time to learn about other people's cultures. I’m quite outspoken and sometimes it has been to the detriment of others. But again, I draw strength from this. I speak up for others because it’s important to speak out when something is wrong.
Don’t try and conform too much. It’s a waste of time. You’ve got to seek self validation before you find yourself. Don’t seek it from others.
I’ve been called lighty, 0.5, grey, Chinese (?!) Oreo and exotic. It is what it is. People like to put you in a box and when they can’t it annoys them. I take it in my stride now and would challenge any micro aggression directed towards me. Thankfully it doesn’t happen as often anymore.
There isn’t a stand out culture that I admire. I’ve got respect for all cultures. I don’t think mixed-race people are represented enough. There are colleagues who will sometimes ignore the fact that I’m mixed-race and just call me Black because they think it’s what I want to hear. I’m both and I’m neither but I’m not afraid to tell them that. I don’t follow any particular tradition.