Scottish | Indian
I identify as mixed-race (Indian and Scottish), Christian and heterosexual. My Mum is from Scotland and my Dad is from India. My Mum has always lived in Scotland, although her family moved to Scotland from Ireland a few generations ago. My Dad moved to the UK when he was about 4 years old and grew up in England before moving to Scotland to study and work. My parents both work in healthcare and met in the hospital where they were both working.
My parents didn’t really combine their cultures hugely. I suppose being in the environment they were (and being nearer to the Scottish side of the family) enabled more of an emphasis on Scottish culture. My parents took a trip to India together soon after they got married, but they’ve not been since then. I think the main way that my Dad brought in aspects of his heritage was through cooking Indian food, and from the influences of his side of the family. Both of my sets of Grandparents are very open-minded especially now, but I know there were challenges along the way. Although it’s fine now, there was quite a bit of resistance from my Dad’s side at him marrying someone who wasn’t Indian at the time. My Grandparents on my Mum’s side were always fine about it, although interestingly their one concern was what it would be like for us kids growing up as mixed-race.
I’ve never really talked to my parents about what others in the same generation as them thought about it. I don’t think they had many – if any – friends who were in interracial relationships which I imagine might have been difficult if they couldn’t identify as much with the experiences of other couples around them. I would hope that we’re now at a point in society where interracial relationships are normal, although I think we still have a long way to go. Having always seen interracial relationships as ‘the norm’ from my experience as a mixed-race person, I was surprised at the amount of news coverage in the UK about interracial relationships (and mixed-race people) when Prince Harry and Meghan Markle got engaged. It made me realise that for most people in the UK it is still very unusual to be in an interracial relationship or to be mixed-race. I got married last year, my husband is from Northern Ireland. I was only 18 when we met and at the time hadn’t really thought that much about what being ‘mixed race’ actually meant to me. I think it did subconsciously influence me however as my partner is well travelled, open-minded and very accepting. I felt I could celebrate my dual heritage with him and introduce him to my experiences of having both cultures quite easily.
I think being mixed-race gives you an insight into different cultures and how they intersect which is such a privilege. You get the chance to learn about different ways of doing things or looking at the world, and I love that you have a sense of connection with people from more than one place. I definitely think it increases your understanding of people and of the world around you. It’s still not that common to meet other people who are mixed-race and so I always get very excited when I do! Although you will all have very different experiences and come from different cultures, I think there is always an affinity between people who are mixed-race as you share some common experiences in how the world perceives you and how you navigate it.
I think the main challenge of being mixed-race is that you can feel that you don’t ‘fit’ fully into either aspects of your heritage. I’ve had family and friends from both sides of my heritage making comments about me ‘not really being Scottish’ or ‘not being properly Indian’, which leaves me feeling that I don’t fit anywhere. I’ve always been quite a perfectionist and I think some of this stems from always feeling like I have to work extra hard to fit into both aspects of my heritage.
Another challenge as a mixed-race person is that your experiences and culture are often unique to you and your siblings. You don’t share as much with your parents when it comes to your cultures and how the world perceives you. It can therefore be difficult to lean on your parents for their experiences in navigating different situations, as both of their experiences are often very different to yours. Although I’m really proud of my dual heritage, I always find the question ‘where are you from?’ quite challenging. Even though it often comes from a good place of the person asking it, I find as a mixed-race person you often have to explain a lot more about yourself and your background, which can feel a bit intrusive.
I feel really fortunate to have grown up in Scotland where there is a big emphasis on learning about Scottish culture from a young age. I think the main way I’ve always connected to Scottish culture is through music and dance such as ceilidh dancing or playing in the band at the ceilidh. I think there is a really warm and welcoming aspect to Scottish culture that I really connect with. Food is and has always been a big part of connecting to Indian culture for me. My Dad always cooks Indian food on a Saturday night, and enjoys cooking for friends and neighbours as well as our immediate family. The emphasis on family and community in Indian culture is something that really resonates with me. Although my Dad is fluent in Punjabi, we never learned the language as children, which I have always wished we had. I’m learning Punjabi now as an adult which is challenging but very fulfilling as I get to connect to an aspect of culture that I haven’t until now in a really meaningful way.
I grew up and studied at university in Scotland and have a strong connection to the culture there. We never visited India growing up unfortunately, but I visited recently for the first time. It was really special to land somewhere I’d never been before and immediately feel familiarity and a sense of ‘home’ in the culture around me.
As a child and teenager, I really didn’t like being mixed-race and often tried to push away the Indian part of my heritage. Despite going to a big school in a city, I was one of about four children in my primary school year of 90 who wasn’t White. I always felt singled out as ‘different’ by classmates and teachers, and there weren’t really any role models who looked like me when I was young. I think it was only really when I went to university that I realised that there was nothing to be ashamed of and in fact, I should be really proud of my mixed heritage. Meeting people who were also mixed race or from different heritages really helped me see and celebrate this. Although there is still a long way to go, I do feel that there are more visible role models now who are people of colour which feels much more inclusive. There is a growing community of people who are mixed-race and I’m really excited to see how this shapes up in the future. I think as I get older I’ll continue to explore both aspects of my mixed-race ethnicity in order to be fully comfortable in what my identity means as a mixed-race person.
I am lucky to work in the NHS, which is incredibly multicultural and particularly so here in London. I’m very privileged to not feel excluded or face challenges in the workplace or beyond because of my sexuality. There are challenges in being a woman in medicine and academia, and as I look at those in leadership it’s sadly still very rare to see women of colour. I find working here in London to be very inclusive of my culture, although when doing my training in less multicultural parts of the UK I did experience racism from both patients and staff members channelled at the ‘non-White’ aspect of my heritage.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would definitely return as mixed-race! Even though there are challenges, I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to have dual heritage and experience the different cultures. If I did change one thing, I’d make myself proud of being mixed-race from a young age.