Kenyan | Pakistani
I would describe my racial identity as an East African Asian. My religion is Islam and my sexual orientation is straight heterosexual. My Mum was born in Nairobi, Kenya and my Dad was born in Chakwal, Pakistan. They met and were married in Kenya. I believe they used their religion, Islam, as common ground to overcome differences in cultures. It helped greatly that my Mum could speak fluent Punjabi and Urdu.
I feel it is a lot easier and acceptable for today’s generation to be in an interracial relationship. The world is a smaller place now and with access to the internet, people are much more aware of other races/cultures. During my parents and especially during my grandparents’ time it was frowned upon. They were treated as second class citizens and people to be avoided. There were differences in not only cultures, but difficulty with languages. This made it difficult for mixed-race people to integrate and to be fully accepted by either race. My culture did affect the way I chose my partner, but in a positive way. We were brought up to believe that everyone was the same. The only over-riding requirement was your partner’s religion, it had to be Islam.
I have had many positive experiences but the one that stands out it when I visited Kenya in 1985, after getting married. To be warmly welcomed again by the African side of my family is an experience I will never forget. The reaction of my wife’s family when they found out about our mixed-race heritage at our engagement was a challenge. I am sure that had they known about it before, the marriage would not have gone ahead. Even to this day, I feel that they see me as being beneath them. I have found that almost all my negative experiences/challenges have come from people of ‘pure’ Asian heritage. But my negative experiences are nothing compared to the experiences of my cousins, who look African.
I have the best of three worlds! The African, the Pakistani and the mixed-race world. I love traditional African music and have been known to listen to some Afro-beats! Being able to converse in both Punjabi and Swahili means that I can easily switch from one to the other. The food and favours cover menus from two diverse cultures, the food is the best thing about being mixed-race! I look Asian but am African on the inside. My whole life is a fusion of the two cultures. I was born in Kenya and spent the first 15 years of my life there and have visited my Dad’s village in Pakistan. I feel that I am culturally very aware and appreciate the differences.
More and more with society, and especially politicians, is about where you come from. The comments made by Donald Trump to the four Congress members has got me thinking. I cannot ‘go back’ to Kenya, although I was born there, I do not look African. And I cannot go to Pakistan, because I was not born there, and although I can speak the language, I do not belong to that society.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would return as me and hopefully not make the mistakes I have made in this life. Being mixed-race is not a curse, don’t let other people’s bigotry and negative views affect your life. You were born out of love that two people of different races had for each other.