Jamaican/Guyanese | Algerian
Mum is Jamaican and Guyanese; Dad is Algerian. As far as I know they met in London but as a result of my Mum's illness and my Dad's absence I've never heard the story. I was raised by my Mum only so I am far more in touch with my Caribbean side, especially the Jamaican part. Growing up I listened to Jamaican music, ate Jamaican food and was educated on the key areas of our culture. As I have gotten older I have found myself in many reading rabbit holes, times in my life where I have been enthralled by Caribbean and African history and in that process I've learnt the most about my history and culture. We spoke English at home but I have since learnt Spanish which has enabled me to organically unlock so many new cultures.
I was fortunate enough to go to a boarding school from the age of 11 but because there was no one around that looked, sounded or thought like me, I spent so long explaining myself to people and telling them that I wasn't Black but mixed-race or 'Caramel.' I was confused and misguided about my heritage and there wasn't anyone that I could speak to, only those who would call me not Black enough or label me with a heritage that wasn't actually mine.
My living role model is Akala. I'm inspired by the heart he has for our community and that he is a figure which is popular not because of his money or glorification of a violent lifestyle but because of his intelligence, knowledge and powerful speaking ability. It's rare to see someone from our community masterfully debate political figures, educate an audience or break down complicated historical and political ideas into simple terms. He is also a very good musician and I listen to his music all the time. My role model from history is Muhammad Ali. Outside of his legendary boxing career, I am in awe of his charisma, intelligence and commitment to a cause bigger than himself. I binge watch his interviews for motivation and I am very grateful that so much of his brilliance was caught on camera.
I think there are three main categories that the solutions for racial inequality boil down to: systems/institutions, community and education. Firstly, systemic solutions. Broken systems create a ceiling for solutions, without addressing the racial discrimination that happens on a systemic level we can never truly tackle racial inequality. This means better anti-discrimination legislation, it isn't good enough to just have laws with anti-discrimination in their title, we need legislation that is effective not legislation that just exists. The media is often an expression of the system so, for example, when 'Black on Black' crime is a headline it provides Blackness as an explanatory factor for violence and encourages the stereotype that Black people are violent, therefore furthering racial inequality.
Secondly, solutions within the community. It's important for us to create/maintain a sense of community amongst our own people, whilst a horrible period of history, under segregation, the Black economy in the US was at its most successful because it forced us to keep our wealth in the community. Outside of economics, we need to educate each other on our history, finance and current affairs. For example, Van Sertima says that 'African history is trapped in a 500 year box'; Black history is more than slavery!! If we learnt about how vibrant and impressive our history is outside of colonised classrooms we would be more empowered and potentially see ourselves as individuals with potential not as victims. Maybe if we glorified books and not balaclavas we would start to run this show!
Finally, education more generally. It isn't just about teaching ourselves, it is also about demanding more from our education system to accurately teach the younger generation about the importance of race and its role in society and if they are going to teach Black history to do it right! Education is never neutral as Freire points out, so we either teach our kids how to live/succeed in our current society or teach them how to be critical of it and give them the tools to improve it. I think the current education system falls under the former but we need the latter. So much racism and prejudice is a result of ignorance and I think if we could address that, we would be looking at a very different society.
Most of the positives have come about as I've gotten older and felt more comfortable in my own skin. Reading my history and learning about where I've come from has given me a sense of pride and empowerment and it is a growing part of my drive to succeed. I've been on the receiving end of overt racism on multiple occasions but outside of that the challenges I've faced around my identity is not feeling a sense of belonging because it has felt like there is no one else quite like me. I think another common experience of mixed people including myself is looking like different ethnicities as you grow up and people constantly guessing where you're from and getting wrong... every time. It was conversations like these which made me feel not 'Jamaican' enough or not 'Algerian' enough and left me in a grey area where it seemed like no one really understood me. I think, outside of heritage, I struggled a lot at boarding school to find the crux of my identity or to answer the question 'who am I?' Not only was I mixed in heritage, but I became mixed in all experience - having gone from extreme poverty and homelessness to a fancy boarding school or from obese to athletic or more right wing to left wing; it seemed as if my life only operated on extremes so when I didn't identify with an extreme I felt lost. In my adulthood I've learnt that identity can be created even if it is tied to things bigger than oneself; I've learnt to find peace in the middle ground and enjoy feeling different to most people in many ways.
I plan to go to Jamaica and Guyana next summer and hopefully Algeria later on in life.
When I was a child I didn't even think about my background. As I got older I rejected it because it confused me and as an adult I love it and wouldn't have it any other way! And I hope it evolves as I get older because if I have the same stance on life and my identity at 30 as I do now at 20 then I would've wasted 10 years.
I have never met or seen someone in the media of Jamaican, Guyanese and Algerian descent. I take great inspiration from people like Akala and Trevor Noah who are people of rare heritage killing it in the public eye. Although I don't expect there to be those in the public eye with the exact same heritage as me, it excites me when I see mixed people with a platform who embrace their heritage and can be an example for others.
I cook lots of Jamaican food, listen to Jamaican music and get along to many events that celebrate the cultures I belong to.
The last time I cried was about 6 months ago when my Mum was at her worst. For a long time I really struggled with showing my emotions but my progress in therapy coincided with caring for my Mum and when I saw how bad she had gotten I burst into tears. We both spoke about all the good times we had when I was a kid - even though we had nothing, we still made so many good memories and I think all of that combined made me very emotional.
I left home at the end of 2019, so the pandemic made my search for a flat very difficult since the landlords I spoke to stopped offering tenancies and there were barely any viewings. This only fuelled my sense of hustle and led me to start new jobs, learn new skills and live in new areas. So even though the pandemic brought an end/postponed several opportunities such as a Tedx talk, a job abroad and sports competitions; I'm grateful for the way it developed me as a person and I wouldn't change the way everything turned out.
Part of my degree includes spending a year abroad but I wasn't able to find the placement I wanted until a few weeks before the deadline. So, with the urgency in mind, I spent hours a day searching through adverts, Linkedin group chats and any other existing connections to find a job. I eventually came across a company which I really liked but they were no longer hiring interns, so I found the person with the friendliest profile picture on LinkedIn and asked, although they weren't hiring, whether they could just have an interview with me. Fortunately they liked me and offered me a job for the subsequent hiring window and I started that job in Chile.