Jamaican | English/Irish/Italian
My parents were young, and met during the 70's. A White woman to date a Black man was not accepted very well back then; my Jamaican family was more accepting of my White mum than my White family accepting my Black father.
As a young girl, with fair skin and curly hair, I wanted to be darker, have brown eyes, black hair and brown skin like my brother & sister. I was the fairest in the family; blonde/brown hair, blue/green/grey eyes. I grew up more with my Jamaican culture than my British culture. I saw myself as a Black girl; hairstyles, speech, music & dance. I was influenced more by my Jamaican Culture.
My natural curly hair was a challenge when I was young; frizzy, out of control and hard to manage, only knowing Dax as my go to product in the very early days. If I am totally honest this complex hair journey for me still continues.
Separating from my Father at a young age, my Mum took on the role of Mother & Father and educated herself as a Mother of mixed-race children. My Mum is my role model, she has shown me how we must embrace our unique self and educate ourselves. Knowledge is powerful. She was my go to person for answers to my questions about my Black and White cultures, and she had the answers. She made sure we understood both cultures, but still I was heavily influenced by Jamaican culture. Saturday mornings included cleaning the house, reggae music blasting and a pot of soup cooking away! As well as siblings arguing over who had more dumplings in their bowl.
At 12 years old I took a trip with my Mum to Jamaica as I was still struggling with my identity, the colour of my skin and my light eyes. Mum would always encourage me to love who I am, so we visited St Elizabeth, Jamaica. This was the first time I felt like I fit in, I saw people like me; light eyes, fair skin. It was an important moment for me which I will never forget.
‘What are you?', ‘You are really fair aren't you?', 'But you look White’, '’You look like you have something in you, where are you from?', are just some of the comments I still hear today.
As I grew up I noticed the privilege I had due to the colour of my skin, but this didn't feel good or feel right. It felt unfair, wrong even. Even as a young girl I felt this. I thank my Mum so much for always reminding me who I am and what is important, but I still felt like I don't know where I fit. Do you have to be more Black or more White, and why do I have to pick a side, I am both Black & White; why can't I be seen for who I am.
Society is slowly changing but I have still experienced racism and inappropriate comments in spaces where they have assumed I am White, and then were shocked when I challenged and confirmed my identity. Previously I did not feel strong enough to use my voice because of my identity but now I do and will continue to challenge and push for change, diversity, inclusivity & representation, especially in the industry I work in and as a Mother of two mixed-race boys.
I want us to replace Hate with Love, Love each other for who they are and what they do, as well as how they make you feel. We must build together; our society is becoming more and more diverse, which is beautiful, but we must learn from each other, support each other and empower each other. Being mixed-race is beautiful, embrace the mix of your races that make you who you are. We are all unique. It is also important to learn self love and ask questions.
Growing up I was called half-cast, which I didn't like. As I got older the term mixed-race and mixed heritage was more commonly used. On occasions the word exotic has been used.
At times I just wanted to be seen as mixed-race but I didn't look like the so-called typical mixed-race person. There was no representation for me to look up to, now there is.
I have a very diverse friendship circle so I get to experience different aspects of different cultures which I love! The Music, food and beautiful countries.
I am a Freelance Casting Director, and want to be a face for representation in this industry. It is still a very dominant White industry but we are starting to see representation across our film, TV, Theatre and commercials industries. I want to continue to push for this and support in educating about this too.
I continue to embrace various aspects of my culture, my Mum now lives in Barbados so I am a regular visitor to this Island. I love to travel and learn more and more about different cultures as well as my own. This supports my role as a Casting Director too as I can access the culture differences and nuances of the modern world we live in, which supports authentic casting and opportunities.