Irish Gypsy/Scottish/English | Guyanese
I am a spiritual female of mixed British and Guyanese heritage. Both Mum and Dad were born in London, England. Mum's side of the family are a mixture of Irish Gypsy, Scottish, English and Northern European. Dad's side of the family are from Guyana. My parents met at a Friday Soul Night Disco in the Charlie Chaplin pub in Elephant & Castle, London. Dad says their eyes met across a crowded dance floor.
I remember my Mum saying that ear-piercing for baby girls was a Gypsy tradition so I’ve been wearing earrings since I was 18 months old. She also used to call me and my siblings her ‘travelling children’, and we have all travelled...a lot! I lost contact with Dad when I was around 7. I thought this also meant the Guyanese part of my heritage, but, when I met up with him again decades later, I realised he was actually a 'typical' British Londoner, born in Hammersmith. It was only when I started connecting with my Nan that I got a better sense of my Guyanese background. I had a mixed-race Step-Dad (British and Jamaican) who every so often would try to introduce Caribbean cultural references into our home but, other than that, I was very much influenced by my friends who were from a variety of backgrounds and ethnicities. I am drawn to a person as a whole not their ethnicity.
I will sometimes allow people to guess where my 'tan' comes from rather than offering it up. I still find it comical the different ways they will rephrase their investigative questions whilst trying not to offend me.
I think interracial relationships are beautiful. They represent so much in terms of blending experiences and unconditional love. My parents got together in the 80's when interracial relationships were often taboo and anger-inducing for the more vocal racists. They would tell me stories of negative comments and judgements they experienced but, both of them were always welcoming and accepting of others. Some people may still find the concept of interracial relationships uncomfortable and just opt not vocalise it however, I choose to believe that because they are more common and openly demonstrated now, there is a greater opportunity for acceptance.
I've found that my ethnicity has opened doors for me and have never noticeably experienced it as a barrier. There have been times where I have questioned if my achievements e.g. place on a university course, successful job interview were the result of 'positive discrimination' but I have chosen to reconcile this with myself, believing that, even if my 'Mixed other' background got me through the initial round of selection, it was my ability and character that secured my place. The alternative is to second-guess every opportunity you're presented with and forget that you are worthy of it irrespective of your genetic make-up. I don’t wish to live like that.
Guyana is still on my travel list. Until I can go there I gather what I can from my family, many of whom live in the UK. However, I also want to experience it for myself.
When it comes to being ‘mixed’ I've travelled through naivety as a child, awkwardness as a teenager, and different levels of acceptance as an adult. I feel I’ve become more self-aware as I’ve got older and this continues to develop. As my confidence has grown, I’ve become less focused on being the odd one out and more embracing of the concept of being unique.
Within my Corporate and Charity roles I’ve invariably been one of the few mixed people at the company and, there were times when general ignorance appeared usually as a fleeting comment but, on the whole, my experience was positive. I work for myself now so sensitivity towards my culture, gender and identity is much easier to influence!
If I were reborn, I'd like to come back as the male version of myself just to see how different life would have been, only if I was able to have memories of my life as a female though. Contrast can be so important when trying to truly understand something.
I’m a Body & Mindset Coach that helps people to understand the connection between our bodies and mindset to lead a healthier, consistently happier life. During the pandemic, it has been really important to create a sense of routine and go back to basics in terms of what my body needs; food, sleep, movement and care. Mum passed away just before the first lockdown, so I was actually really appreciative of the time and peace it created for me to reflect.
Purely by coincidence, in the first week of May 2020, I wrote 2 pieces referencing my experience of having mixed-ethnicity, a subject which I had not written about for years. Days later, the media was filled with the images of George Floyd and international outrage. The internet flooded with emotionally charged opinions, judgements and miscommunications. I suddenly felt a weight of expectation to comment on what was going on. To sum up in a single social-media post subjects steeped in extensive history, complex social structures, fear and so much pain. There was almost a pressure to become a spokesperson for all 'POC' and educator of those who weren't in this category. It was too heavy and I withdrew for a while. When one of my pieces was published I let that serve as my contribution. It provided snapshots of me navigating the issue of racial identity since birth, it was created with no expectation and no judgement.
I feel that there needs to be a lot more diverse representation across almost all industries, especially in roles of leadership. It’s something I noticed in the Corporate world and when entering the Well-being sector, one of my missions is to increase diversity and accessibility within those spaces by being present and positively active.
To tackle racial inequality we need increased representation in high level leadership reflecting diversity and normalisation of the presence of diverse ethnicities within school curriculums, especially when it comes to teaching History. There also needs to be education around and honest investigation of the systemic inequalities that exist. A curriculum that truly reflected the involvement of diverse ethnicities within British History would have been a game-changer for me when I was at school. One that highlighted our presence and contribution throughout the ages. I don’t remember ever being consistently taught about the successes or pioneering achievements of people with diverse ethnicities. If they did appear it tended to feel like a bit of a novelty, reinforcing the idea of ‘otherness’.