Indian | Scottish – NHS Speciality Doctor in Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery, Senior Leadership Fellow East Anglia NHSE, Clinical Teacher in Oral Surgery, Kings College
I identify as half Indian & half Scottish and female. My Mom is fully Indian, her parents were from Punjab (North India). She was born in Scotland but spent her childhood growing up in Kenya, Africa before coming back to Scotland as a teenager. My Dad is Caucasian, fully Scottish and was born and brought up in Scotland where his parents were born and bred. They met through fate at college where their relationship was ‘not allowed’ due to the expectations of Indian culture. I used to think that my parents had a complete ‘Bollywood’ love story, but as I got older and learned the full extent of my parent’s challenges, hardships and the length they went to for love I realised their story was so much more than a relatable movie. My parents both fought against the world to be together due to race, culture and religion and this story was something I wasn’t told till my late teenage years. They showed strength, courage, commitment and are an example of the real-life definition of love with my sister and I being the product of their love story.
Respect, love and understanding are what I feel are the three ingredients to a successful life which can be applied to anything. I think when a relationship is based on love, you don’t see it as being a ‘combination’ of cultures. It just becomes part of you, and having a mixed marriage becomes one culture. As I was growing up, I knew my parents were from different backgrounds, but it was so normal seeing them carry out each other’s cultures like it was their own. They made it so normal for us, that I thought everyone celebrated Diwali and Christmas like us and it wasn’t until I realised that none of my friends lit candles all around their house on Diwali night that we may be slightly different. They ensured we lived a life knowing where we came from, and they still do. It was apparent that there was a difference when you compared my parent’s families. My Dad’s parents (Grandma and Grandpa) from Scotland, and my Mom’s parents (Nani and Nana) from India. I still have three out of four of my Grandparents with me today and I do nothing but admire and learn from their wisdom, knowledge and teachings of their heritages, because it's where I came from. Regardless of opinions from family members and external views, my parents accepted each other when they fell in love, which resulted in both their cultures merging into one.
As I was growing up within Glasgow, my sister and I were the only mixed-race children within the community. I didn’t even think anyone else in the world was ‘half and half’ because I didn’t think it was a thing. We would go to Indian weddings or the temple and people would stare at us. I didn’t even think about the colour of my skin until it was pointed out how ‘fair’ I was. On the other scale of it, I would be sitting in class surrounded by Caucasian children and the teacher would say the word ‘India’ and within 1 second the entire class would turn to look at me.
Interracial relationships in my parent’s generation, never mind my Grandparent’s generation were not common. Especially within, but not limited to the Indian community.
As I have grown up, I have been constantly surrounded by the topic of interracial relationships. A topic which I ignorantly thought would be one of the past and from my parents’ generation is very much prominent within my generation. Relationships that are not ‘allowed’. I always ask myself, allowed by who? What does that even mean?! It’s like we are still stuck behind this unwritten law of interracial marriages being a negative thing. I have experienced these first-hand instances with colleagues, close friends, family members and even myself.
Emotional blackmail, fear of being disowned, duties to parents, honour-based abuse, these are just some of the challenges that exist. However, when you delve into the detail of the people that are within the relationship which is ‘forbidden’, these people do not only just love each other but they present as being more open minded about each other because they accepted the other person when they fell in love. Actually, subconsciously whether they say it or not, they support interracial relationships and may even have a stronger love for that person because no matter what culture/race or religion the other person is. They fell in love with them knowing this and race is part of them. It is the one topic in my life I struggle to accept, because I know the story of two people who didn’t give up. Against all odds, I have seen two people from two different worlds make it work, and my sister and I are the product of that.
The fact that people disagree with interracial relationships essentially means that people disagree with my existence, because if it wasn’t for an interracial relationship, I wouldn’t be here. This challenge is still very prominent within my generation and it is within every race and culture. Our generation has the power. The power to be brave and have courage, to be in love and to make the sacrifices to fight for it so that our children don’t have to.
‘You have the best of both/multiple worlds.’ A very familiar sentence for anyone who is mixed-race. Actually, I really think that sentence doesn’t even make sense. In what reality would you just get the best without challenges? The best thing for me is actually just having both worlds. I do get the best from my two worlds, but I also get challenges, but I learn from them and they make me who I am. Having the opportunity of having a first-hand real-life insight into two different worlds is amazing. Being able to Ceilidh dance at an event one day then perform as a Bhangra dancer on stage the next is insane! I was taught in person by two different queens (Gran and Nani) to make both tablets (a form of Scottish fudge) and gulab jaman (Indian sponge dessert). My car playlist can go from The Bonnie Bonnie Banks of Loch Lomond to Bhangra remix or Bollywood mashup in the same journey. But, do you know what the best thing is? it is living in a world where being open minded comes naturally to you. I accept people for who they are, regardless of culture or religion because I view the world from a different set of eyes. Mixed-race eyes. I understand naturally what other people have to learn and that’s a gift that can only be given by genetics as it is something inbuilt in me.
I never realised I had challenges until I left Scotland and moved to England. I was lost, and I didn’t know it. I never felt truly accepted. Within a Scottish environment I felt too Brown and within an Indian environment I felt too White. I always thought my sister and I were ‘different’ but didn’t really know why. I was made to act like a chameleon for most of my life- within a ‘western’ environment I would feel like I had to be more Scottish and within an ‘Indian’ environment I would feel like I had to be more Indian. I had no identity.
People have always assumed that because I am fair in skin tone, I have never experienced discrimination. People don’t understand that being mixed-race, you can experience discrimination from more than one aspect. Amongst many experiences, I got called names and told to, ‘go back to Pakistan’, once in primary school. I got told by a patient that ‘mixed-race people are like a disease that’s infiltrating into the world’ and I experienced the subconscious feeling of not belonging anywhere because I was always that little bit different. It wasn’t until I went to University that I came across a girl who is now one of my best friends. She was also mixed-race, and something happened. I felt an instant connection and sense of not only understanding but belonging. Someone who just got it, they knew. They got that you could be both, understand both, present as two cultures but be one person. That’s when I realised that the reason I didn’t fit in as being white or brown was because I was mixed race and it is an identity in itself.
People would ask what half I was more of, Scottish or Indian? I can’t even tell you the amount of times I got asked that question. It wasn’t until I moved by myself down south that I realised that I don’t need to answer it anymore. I don’t ask people who identify themselves with a single culture how Scottish they feel they are or how Indian they must be. I am 50% curry and 50% haggis. I am Asha, I am mixed-race, and this is me.
I grew up in Scotland near Glasgow and spent my whole life there until a couple of years ago when I moved down south for work. Scotland is home for me, the accent is something I will always have, the beautiful scenery, Ceilidh music and the sound of bagpipes make me feel emotional yet I get this same feeling with Punjabi music, the smell of Indian food and the views of the cotton fields in Punjab. We visited India as a family every few years to see our family who still live there and for us to remember our heritage, but even though we only went for a few weeks every few years, it also felt like home to me. I decided a few years ago that I would go and visit every year because when I am there, I almost feel like I can breathe again. The village life in Punjab, somewhere that may phase/culture shock someone from the ‘western’ world is somewhere that feels like home to me. I never felt like I had to ‘learn’ about my cultures, I feel that that both countries are home, both cultures are home and that they are part of me.
Something was different though, something clicked only when I took time to understand myself. It was the way people looked at both my sister and me. We grew up with double takes and looks whether it was at an event in Scotland or it was walking through the streets of rural India. In Scotland, the looks and comments would sometimes be somewhat hostile and ignorant, however in India (even though there was a time people would come out their houses to look at my Dad because they had never seen a ‘White’ man before) when people looked at us it was with admiration and fascination. There was (and still is) a difference and it took me most of my life to understand that the difference between ignorance and fascination was prominent.
As a child I was naïve, I didn’t know the difference but as I got older it became almost a burden. A burden of explanation and justification every time I met someone new with the question ‘what are you’. This was a struggle until a few years ago when I realised that being mixed-race gives you a completely different outlook on life. I am now comfortable, happy and most importantly grateful to my parents for bringing me into this world. I welcome the question of ‘what are you’, because I am so proud of being mixed.
Being mixed-race gives you a different outlook on life. You see things from eyes that no one else has. Acceptance, understanding and openness. You are less ignorant than the average human being and you share emotion on a level that others cannot relate to because they may not feel it. I know as I get older it becomes increasingly apparent that some of the world’s problems derived from negative thoughts and lack of understanding between races/religions and cultures would not be present if integration between races was encouraged more. I hope that I ever come back into this world that every time I come back as mixed-race. After all, my race and identity has been created by love and that is so cool!
As a clinician, educator and mixed-race female who holds both surgical and leadership roles within the NHS, I have viewed the diversity of the NHS workforce and the value which this has within health and social care with relation to the delivery of patient care, staff morale and effectiveness of workforce development. However, I have also been conscious that the need to improve and support representation across all levels of the NHS is required to eradicate the inequalities that exist.
How can we work towards changing the racial inequality within society? Change begins with recognition and that is always the first step, however the problem is that the need for this change has previously been recognised, but the rate at which this change is being actioned is not happening fast enough. The eradication of inequalities within society and the workplace, including the NHS and social care sectors should not just be looked at as a ‘tick box’ exercise to please those that are calling out this unjust or to allow organisations to merely meet their work force diversity criteria, but that workforce diversity should be seen as the beating heart of every organisation, specifically that of the NHS.
Expressing our concerns and calling out ignorant behaviour is one thing, but we must also recognise our own behaviours and judgements and encourage others to do the same. Education is the key to ensure that diversity is understood within all areas of society and includes but is not limited to the understanding of gender, cultures, religion, sexuality and health conditions.
Nationally, the policy states that NHS Trust Boards should be as representative as possible of the communities they serve and that this is likely to benefit the planning and provision of services. The NHS has a diverse work force, but we must ensure that this diversity is utilised at every level and guarantee that the ‘snowy white peaks’ are part of the history books. We should work towards a society in which inequality can be referenced to as a key learning point for future generations to highlight the change made within the 21st century that transformed the history books forever. We must understand that diversity and integration is a key link to effective and efficient healthcare and that the care given by our health and social care systems must be delivered by a diverse workforce at all levels. This workforce should be given dignity, respect and be empowered to ensure that the heart of the NHS is kept beating to allow it to appropriately care for the diversity of its local and national populations.