German | South African
I am half South African and half German, born in the Netherlands. I am a Christian and heterosexual. My Dad is a so-called ‘Coloured South African’, which under the Apartheid regime was classified as a race of its own. My Mother is White German.
My Dad has written an entire book to tell the story of the obstacles that he and my Mother had to overcome to be together. In short: they met in Germany whilst my Father spent a year there studying. Their relationship was forbidden in South Africa and so they married in Germany only able to live as a couple in South Africa 17 years later.
Before moving to South Africa when I was nine, I spent my childhood in the Netherlands and fully embraced the Dutch culture I was surrounded with. My parents also made sure though that my siblings and I were exposed to their cultural roots. My Mother spoke German to us and we frequently travelled to Germany to spend time there with our cousins. Due to my Dad’s connections, we often had visitors from a variety of backgrounds staying with us and through this we learned about other cultures. My Mum got to add new recipes to her expanding international culinary repertoire. My Dad took me to South Africa when I was 6 years old to meet my Grandparents and to see where he grew up. This trip left a lasting impression on me.
When it came to choose a husband, race didn't play much of a role for me. It was far more important to find someone who embraces diversity and who shares my belief system. I do love the fact though that he is Black with a mixed Caribbean background, which results in our kids having such an eclectic mix of DNA!
Although I have never felt the need to hide who I am, growing up in the Netherlands where a lot of people still felt very angry about the war, I did sometimes feel embarrassed about my German roots. I identified myself as being Dutch and even to this day if the Netherlands play football against Germany I will be cheering for the Dutch team!
Although generally interracial relationships are more socially accepted now than in my parent’s time, it is still quite uncommon to see interracial couples in South Africa. I have lived in the UK for the past 11 years now and absolutely love how interracial relationships are not an uncommon thing.
It wasn’t until my late teens that I truly started to celebrate my mixed heritage. Until that point, I struggled with never really feeling a sense of belonging to one specific people group. However, as I discovered the benefits of being mixed-race I could embrace it fully. Being mixed-race taught me to adapt to new situations quickly and has made it easy for me to mix with people from different backgrounds. It has given me the opportunity to see people further than skin-deep level and I am very thankful for that.
As I have relatives, including two of my brothers, who live in Germany, I am constantly connected to my German roots. I also speak German with my children so that they have the benefit of growing up bilingual and I meet up with other German speakers regularly. We moved to South Africa when I was nine and I only left when I was 23 so a big chunk of my life is immersed in South Africa and up to this day it comes closest to what I would regard as being my home country.
Although I didn’t let it get to me, when I was younger I didn’t necessarily like being the odd one out among my friends. However as a teenager I started to enjoy it and growing up into adulthood I have come to absolutely love it. If there was a ‘proudly mixed-race badge’ I’d probably wear it!
As long as this broken world is around I don't see it happening but if I were to be reborn I would love it to be in a world where racism didn't exist and everyone would feel 100% comfortable in the skin they are in.
I’m quite optimistic by nature and so I tend to focus on the opportunities that have been presented through the pandemic rather than on what has been taken away.