English | Nigerian
I’d describe myself as half English and half Nigerian and identify as spiritual with strong personal and religious beliefs. I guess I would say I channel my spirituality through Christian beliefs.
My Mother is English; born/ raised between Devon, Yorkshire and moved to London when she was in her early 20s. My Dad is Nigerian but born here in Islington. He has spent his life living between England and Nigeria. They met when they both lived in Greenwich, London. Because my Dad was born here, he was used to living with a dual experience of cultures. My Mum loves new cultures, learning the languages, the food and the traditions. She struggled at times to meet eye to eye with my Grandparents when it came to some of the traditions in Nigeria.
I think being mixed-race and having to navigate two different cultures growing up, it has made it easier for me to teach the different expectations of my family’s culture and traditions. There’s a lot less stigma on interracial couples now, we’ve come a long way to embracing multiple cultures and being open to letting people love who they love. I still think there is some way to go, eventually I’d hope people don’t bat an eyelid over differences around people’s partners.
I don’t let my culture dictate my partner, I really look for the ability to be open-minded and accommodating in my partner. I want them to one day feel like my melting pot of culture and tradition is theirs too, and for me to feel the same.
Because I have lived in England my whole life, and sound like a Londoner through and through, I love it when people ask me my full name, and they immediately say, that’s a Yoruba name no?! And off the back of that, they share stories of Nigeria, they teach me that my name means ‘someone to cherish’ and my name is something I’ve been learning to cherish growing up. Because of this, I’ve learnt so much from strangers who are looking to connect through history and Nigerian culture.
It’s only as I’ve grown older, I’ve realised that I experienced a lot of racism growing up, especially as a child in school. Some of my first memories of school were that I was bullied for being Brown and the girls would tease me about my nose. Growing up then, it was a challenge to fully embrace my race on both sides, I wanted to be ‘raceless’. But in learning about who I am and who my parents and grandparents are, I have been able to really embrace myself.
In my adult life, it’s mainly microaggressions that I experience now, comments about how when I straighten my hair it looks ‘much more professional’. It’s easy for them to say these things but given that I battled with wanting to relax my natural curls for years, it’s hard to hear once you’ve started to embrace your natural self.
On both sides of my family I connect through food. Every time I go to my Grandparents’ homes, we bond through cooking meals and they walk me through their lives.
Whenever I meet a Nigerian they ask me if I’ve been to visit, unfortunately I haven’t but I hope to really really soon. You know sometimes you feel like something calls you from inside out, that’s how I feel!
My outlook on race and being of mixed heritage has definitely shifted as I’m actually proud of my heritage now, before it was something I hid under straightened hair and layers of foundation. Now I wear it with pride and it’s something I’m passionate about talking about.
Every workplace I’ve been in has spoken so openly about diversity but at the core and top there’s been institutional racism overtly and often by organisational leaders not being willing to shift the status quo.
If I was to be born again, I’d have been born with the same parents but at a time where I feel that there is more representation in the media, ensuring that little girls and boys who live here and call London home, don’t feel out of place and like they don’t belong, because that has implications that take years to untangle and mend.