Filipino | British
My Mother is from the Philippines, and my Father is from the UK. They met at work.
Both sides of my family made me feel that I was not enough when in either land. My British family members would make degrading comments about my Asian side. It was very normalised.
Due to a lot of verbal and physical bullying as a child, I really hated how I looked; for not being White. I grew up in a very sheltered town and racism was daily. I feared for my life when I started secondary school. Maybe an overreaction but the beating was every other day. I suppressed everything Filipino in my life, I’d be rude to my Mother because she embarrassed me, because kids would laugh at her appearance or accents, I would deny her Filipino food and refuse to speak my first language which I’ve now forgotten. When I moved away from that town and to a multicultural city, I realised how wrong my experience was and how much it must have hurt my Mother to watch me push her and our culture away. I now use my work as a filmmaker and content creator to promote, educate about Filipino and Asian culture. I also try to help elevate individuals within the Asian community by promoting them online. Hoping that kids who grew up like me could have more exposure to talented and inspiring Asians who look like them.
I listened to a podcast with Ke Huy Quan about his life. He brought me to tears about him talking both about his childhood as a Vietnamese refugee and a struggling Asian actor in Hollywood who’s finally found recognition and success.
I love Keanu Reeves. He’s always quietly been supporting Asian stars around him to highlight to Hollywood they can hire full Asian actors too. I despise the term Wasian (White-Asian). I hate it. It’s patronising. Like I’m a dog breed.
A positive is how I managed to embrace both of my cultures. I grew up feeling not enough of either. I feel like a foreigner in both my countries. Now I celebrate. I am both. Not half of either, but both. I think that’s something to celebrate.
Filipinos were and still are unfairly represented in Western media, despite how many there are of us who migrate to the West. Little is known about our rich culture, and is often just seen as a poor South East country near to China. Shows like Family Guy and British comedians on tv would always take jabs at us implying our country is nothing more than a place to find cheap sex workers. People would always joke that I look adopted. My Father was blonde and tall and I was always more Asian looking and short. I always wished to be more White. These days, I couldn’t be more proud of my Filipino heritage.
Most of my family on my Mothers side live in the Philippines. They show me so much love online these days. It’s hard to arrange regular calls or conversations due to the difference in time zones but I wish I could visit more!
As a freelancer in the film industry I work with different people everyday. In the UK, film is improving but film sets are very White dominated here. Working in film is still very much a privilege for those from richer backgrounds. There’s a number of reasons why I think kids from Asian families especially don’t aspire to work in film but I think the industry here can do so much better. I’m tired of the same White middle class directors telling the same stories in the UK. We are far from the worst but I wish it was better!
I often cook food from the Philippines. It’s my comfort food. The flavours bring me back to when I was a child visiting my family in Cebu.