English/Trinidadian | English/Trinidadian
My parents are both British but also mixed-race. My Mum is half White, half Afro-Caribbean (Trinidadian), and my Dad is half White, half West-Indian (Trinidadian). They met on a blind date.
My Dad didn’t grow up with his Trinidadian parent so most of the culture in that regard came from my Mum. We would have Trinidadian food a lot at home, go to Notting Hill Carnival every year and listen to soca music in the house. Every 4 or 5 years, we’d make a trip to Trinidad to see family, which was always wonderful. My sister and I would hang out with my cousins and everyone would welcome us. We never felt different over there, there are a lot of mixed-people in Trinidad. I’d like to go back at some point with my family, once it’s possible again.
My Dad did grow up in Singapore (despite not being Singaporean) so we would also celebrate Chinese New Year with his half sisters (who are Singaporean) and there were a lot of Singaporean sweets and condiments in our house as well as a lot of Trinidadian and English ones.
I have finally accepted that I am not crazy for needing to go to therapy once a week. Therapy and mental health are very taboo topics in the Caribbean community which was something I internalised a lot as a kid, and coming to terms with the fact that I should probably be going to therapy was quite difficult.
I look quite racially ambiguous so people tend to assume I’m Spanish or something similar, and I often don’t correct them because I can’t be bothered to give the five minute history people tend to want when they find out you’re mixed.
My Mum is my role model because her life has been quite difficult but she is one of the strongest, kindest people I know despite everything.
I think people need to realise that the challenges for mixed people go as far as simple things in your day to day life. For example, I couldn’t buy basic hair products for my hair (shampoo, conditioner) in my home city until 2015. I would have to go with my Mum and sister to London (a two hour drive away) with a suitcase to get enough hair products to last us until the next time. But you’d never hear of someone with ‘normal’ hair not being able to buy their regular shampoo from the shop in their city, or not being able to find make up or flesh coloured tights in their skin shade. I also did not find a hairdresser who knew what to do with my hair until 2 years ago when I moved to the Netherlands.
It can be difficult growing up mixed in the UK because the idea is that you are British/English first and then everything else afterwards but that’s not always how society feels. The curriculums at many schools are fairly ethnocentric (when I tried to start a Black history month event at my school, I was told by the headmaster that there ‘wouldn’t be enough interest’, yet we had an Irish night every month) and it can be hard to feel represented, both in school and outside in the workplace, on the tv, etc.
That being said, I was very lucky to have my sister, who obviously understands what things are like. My family is definitely not boring and we always have great food so that is a positive.
I was very proud of being mixed-race as a child and I still am, but I’m a lot less vocal about it now. My parents were always insistent that I should be proud of who I was and where I came from as a child, but it can be difficult to keep it up when you’re out in the world at large. I’m happy I’m mixed-race but it’s not always easy. This line of thinking might change in time but I’m not sure.