English | Thai
My Mum is from Thailand and my Dad is from England. My Dad works in oil and gas and was stationed out in Pattaya, where my Mum was living at the time, however my Dad was already married... with two children... my Mum didn't know...
And then they had me...
Twenty-six years on and my Mum and Dad are still married and live in Reading and me, my little brother and my two sisters (half-sisters but we would never, ever use that to describe one another!) are one big happy family. Both me and one of my sisters live in London, my little brother still lives at home and my middle sister is living in Darlington which is where they're from. Not to say the relationships we shared were easy along the way, I know my eldest sister (who remembers everything) had a difficult relationship with my Dad for years and she hates when I tell new people we meet the story of how she dragged me through a thorn bush the first time she met me but it's all love now!
It's been tricky to try and get much out of my parents from the time when my Dad was still with my sister's Mum but I know they shared a love of going out, food, music and travel.
I grew up in a very Thai household, and ate mostly Thai food (as I said my Dad's fav!). I have a very strict Thai Mum (and just so happened to be my Dad was also super strict so no reprieve there), spent most of my childhood in Thai restaurants doing homework etc as my Mum is a chef. My Dad has travelled all over the world for work and always immerses himself in the culture, makes an effort to learn the language, eats ALL the food. He loves all Asian food and he pretty much exclusively eats Asian food and would always choose an Asian restaurant to eat out at. Not to say there wasn't lots of English influence, my Dad is Cornish, I love the sea, I played football, I went to drama/dance school on Saturdays, all my friends were English, I am obsessed with being tanned.
I think meeting someone from a different culture or someone from one culture, can be hard if either person isn't willing to try and do new things. The people I have chosen for a partner have always been willing to try new things and explore the world. For me, a huge one is food, I am a food lover through and through. Both my serious long-term boyfriends hadn't tried so many foods, even things like a prawn or chicken liver, but now I know both of them would always choose to eat Asian food if they could (not to say I influenced the Asian part at all, that's has been their choice when eating cuisine from around the world) but they were willing to try anything and everything, do anything and everything, never turn their noses up at the way I did things or when I spoke about Thai traditions.
We all grow up differently, if in your culture you don't cook with fish sauce then the first time you smell that as an adult you may keel over and say 'Ew what is that, that stinks' or if you grew up eating with a knife and fork unlike lots of East Asian, South Asian, South American and African countries do then that may seem totally crazy to you. But it's those who make an effort to understand that we're all different, with different experiences and embrace those differences who I want in my life.
Now that I’m older I don’t hide my identity as I am incredibly proud to be mixed, however I remember at school age I would always reduce my Thai-ness in certain situations. I had very little problems growing up in Reading as it's very multicultural, I moved to Essex for uni and met my boyfriend who was living in London at the time but by chance he was from the city I was now living in. When he would come back to visit and we would go out, so many people from his past would throw racial slurs, try and start fights etc. It was unreal. I hadn't ever thought how difficult it must've been for my parents to be together almost thirty years ago and that made me appreciate how much they must've gone through and how they never let on to me and my brother and never made us afraid of the world. The world and it's cultures are so amazing, how lucky I am to have grown up amongst two of them!
After we stopped visiting Thailand every year when I was about fifteen my Thai dwindled and my Mum didn't enforce it at home. I can understand a lot of it but am terrible at speaking it. I was ashamed of this for so long. It was my first language!!! But I am taking the reins and having one to one Thai lessons and absolutely loving it. I can tell my Mum is enjoying practising with me over Facetime and having a little laugh at my expense.
When visiting Thailand I always went to the same city and just lived, what I haven't done is explored as an adult. I am desperate to go back now as an adult with my boyfriend who has been and has done all that exploring (sad face!) and immerse myself in a culture I have missed for over ten years now.
There are a growing number of Asian people in power positions and TV but largely they're of Chinese descent. There is a lack of Thai representation, for women I can only think of Chrissy Teigan and she's American.
The owner of Leicester City was Thai and when he died tragically in the helicopter crash moments after it took off from the grounds, the outpouring of love from not only the fans but the whole community (due to his charitable donations to hospital/schools etc) was overwhelming. To see t-shirts, flags, banners with a Thai name on them and English people openly sobbing and proud to have this man as part of their community was unbelievable.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would happily come back as myself (she says today!) as I love my job, my life, my partner, my friends and family BUT I would also quite like to come back as some sort of soaring bird.
I think I did well during the pandemic, our remote company actually acquired 2 global offices during the time so people could come in as and when they chose. For example if they were overwhelmed at home and they wanted to be amongst each other (capped limit). I think this was of huge benefit to everyone. My direct team has also grown from just me to three people who report to me and managing them has been an absolute joy this last year.
I've also been very, very, very lucky that my partner and I have had so little issue being together and working from home together. As I know lots of my friends and their partners have separated/divorced and I truly feel for them, although I am sure for them it is the right decision for them it doesn't lessen the heartache. It also helps that we got a lockdown 1.0 kitten, although he was definitely the cause of any row between me and my boyfriend, his name is Kimchi.
Not to say it hasn't been tough, both my boyfriend and I have very high stress jobs (again I realise how lucky we are to have full-time work) and we've had big deadlines all year so there have been weeks where we've both really struggled with stress and anxiety especially when that comes hand and hand with all the restrictions and how stressful/depressive that already was.
Unfortunately, we both caught COVID a few days before Christmas which meant we stayed in London with Kimchi instead of going home to our families. It was our first Christmas together in seven years of being together and to be honest, we absolutely loved it (so did the cat!).
I do believe we need to increase education on racism and have tougher sentences for hate crimes. Asian hate crimes increased during the pandemic and it made me so fearful for my Mum going back to work post-lockdown. People are rooted in what they learn from their parents and peers growing up, if at school we could start to open children's minds they'll already be questioning the bad and hopefully deciding on things for themselves.