English | Kenyan
My Mum is Kenyan and my Father is English. My Mother moved to South Africa for a better life and my Father moved there because of his previous marriage. My Mom sold art and my Dad was looking to buy art. They met in a market. My Dad also wanted someone to teach him Swahili as he was going to travel to Kenya for a while hence they got to know each other.
My Father has always taken an interest in eastern African countries as he spent some of his childhood there. Their music tastes were similar and very broad, a mixture of both cultures. My parents' cultures seemed to mix seamlessly, however; their cultures had somewhat been put in the background as they had spent so many years in South Africa. Our household culture was predominantly South African with hints of English and Kenyan culture. We spoke English all the time at home.
All my life I was exposed to many cultures living in harmony. This gave me a perception that one does not have to have the same culture as one's partner for it to work. In fact, I've always been drawn to people who have more differences in culture than similarities. It gives me opportunities to learn, grow and keep me on my toes a little. I love seeing things from many different perspectives. I don't need to date another me; I need someone who has/knows what I do not.
I think people are becoming more accepting of interracial relationships these days, especially the younger generations. When I was young it was very rare to see interracial relationships, especially in post-apartheid South Africa. People would often stare at my parents. White people would look to my Father as if to say he betrayed them, or Black people would look to my Mother in pity as she had fallen for the colonialist. I was very aware of this at such a young age. I, myself am currently in an interracial relationship and I know that I have less challenges than my parents did. However, racial inequality still exists as my boyfriend and I have experienced hostility because of our inter-racial relationship.
Growing up it never really occurred to me that my parents were different races, and that I was a different race to my parents. It was only once the kids at school pointed it out to me or asked me ‘is that really your Father?’, or ‘is that really your Mother?’. I've been asked if I was adopted when my White Dad came to pick me up from school or if my Mother was in fact my maid. I started to become more aware and self-conscious of the fact that all my school mates were the same race as their parents and I was not. I didn't want people to see my parents anymore. I didn't want people to know that I was a product of an inter-racial marriage. I straightened my hair and never mentioned details of my parents to people I met. I always made sure that my parents stayed in the car or never came to any school events. It was stressful and tiring but I felt it was worth it in order to uphold my image.
Today, I embrace my identity. I let down my curly, bushy hair. I am different and I love it. I am proud of my ethnicity and grateful for my parents. I show my parents off because they are so beautiful in their differences. I look up to them and their bravery. I know they have faced a lot of discrimination in their marriage and having my sister and me. The least I can do is honor them by honoring my identity.
I think I felt in many ways cursed as a child. I wanted a 'normal' family. As a young adult, I feel blessed. I'm realizing more and more how lucky I am to be mixed. I think as I continue to get older I will embrace and explore my identity more and more.
Racial inequality begins at home. If we can be taught to hate, we can be taught to love. We speak so much about equality but true change comes with action. Children imitate their parents' actions. We need to actively tackle racial inequality. It's not helpful to say, ‘I don't see color’ and having a couple Black friends doesn't exempt people from racism. We need to be aware of the past, aware of privilege, aware of injustices, aware of struggles, and aware of the system. With awareness comes change. We cannot say race doesn't exist, it does. After all, if race didn't exist then how can racial inequality exist?
I've been to Kenya; it was the best holiday I ever had as a child. I think it was there that I realized I was proud to be half Kenyan. The people were so welcoming, the language was so beautiful and the landscape was mesmerizing. I got to see my Mother in her element and for the first time I felt connected to a cultural identity. I smiled. I've been to the UK many times and I'm partly living in the UK at the moment. It's strange because although I never grew up in the UK, it feels like I've been here my whole life. Everything feels so familiar to me. It is such a privilege to call so many places home.
I know that my ethnic background is not being represented enough because I still get so excited when I see mixed people in senior positions. The day I stop being excited is the day I think we will be represented enough.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would like to return a mixed child again. A product of two worlds. I always felt isolated because of my situation. It is so good to have a platform to express myself, a platform with other people who have experienced what I have experienced.
The pandemic has been somewhat challenging and somewhat enlightening. It's helped me to realize so many things that I once prioritized which are not so important. It's given me a break from life. Some time to slow down and re-evaluate everything. I know it hasn't always been easy for everyone, including myself, but we can learn a lot from it.