Dutch | Surinamese
My Mum is from Suriname and my Dad is Dutch. They met on a vacation trip in Austria. My Mum really adapted to the Dutch culture. I didn’t really experience a lot of my Surinamese heritage until I became a little older. My Mum was a stay-at-home Mum when me and my older brother were younger. My Dad was away from home very often for work. So, my Mum did most of the things with us. My Mum didn’t teach us any Surinamese, but I do understand it if I focus on it. Besides that, my Mum just taught us what she knew. She brought us up to be self-thinking men who can take care of themselves and try to do good things for other people.
My Mum was always very creative. The thing she used most to combine cultures was food. She would cook Dutch food with Surinamese flavours, for example. But like I said earlier my Mum adapted a lot to our environment. We grew up in Beverwijk with a lot of White Dutch people around us. Most of my friends were White as well. So, when I was young I didn’t really get in touch with my Surinamese background.
When I was ten I went to Suriname for the first time with my brother and Mother. This was common for us. My Mum and Dad are still together and love each other very much, but we split vacations every now and then. I went there to meet my Grandma and enjoy the country. I will advise everyone to go to Suriname. It’s very beautiful but you have to go into the country. You have to go and see what nature has to bring to you in Suriname. It is very beautiful. Also, I recommend people to go there in December. There are a lot of fun parties in Suriname at that time and new year’s is something special over there. This was a whole new world for me. I loved it but was also very glad to come back home. Everything over there was so relaxed. The time even was slow. When I come back I always have to adapt. But I think people forget how well organized the Netherlands is. Cause I really miss that when I’m over there. Even though I miss the chillness of Suriname over here a little.
I believe a lot has changed but not enough. I feel like the world is a lot more outraged about everything but doesn’t listen enough to anyone to actually solve something. I think that the world is more open to differences now than when my parents grew up and definitely to the world where my Grandparents grew up. At the same time, I think the world is far from solving the problems we still experience today. Throughout this interview I will give you a lot of examples of this but to start I will talk a little bit about Sinterklaas. Nothing changed in the Netherlands when it comes to Sinterklaas. In the 60s there were people outraged over ‘zwarte piet’ just like today. You can find newspapers who reported protesters back in that time.
When I grew up I loved Sinterklaas. It was exciting. Putting your shoe at the door and getting a present. It was awesome. Today I don’t want anything to do with it. It is such an easy problem to solve but people want to give you their opinion. In this world people think it’s more important to talk than to listen and I don’t think that solves anything. Two years ago, I walked into the locker room of my soccer club and people asked me what I thought about Sinterklaas. I told them that I didn’t like their question because they only talked to me about this thing so they could give me their opinion. They wouldn’t talk to me about their work life or other personal things but about this they wanted to talk to me (because I’m not White).
I like to think of solutions. To solve this problem, we need to analyse it first from both sides. I am going to give you my opinion in a blunt way to show you how I think about this.
Black people are outraged because there is no recognition of slavery, which their ancestors were a part of. They don’t want people to say they’re sorry, they want acknowledgement that slavery happened. To put this in perspective, if I look up my own ancestors from my Father’s side of the family, it goes on and on. If I do the same on my Mother’s side I can’t go any further than my Grandmother's Grandfather. So (in my blunt analysation) Black people want recognition.
The Dutch people are outraged because they want to keep their tradition ‘the way it is’. They always did it this way and they don’t want to change. They don’t mean any harm, but they feel like they are losing their own country and that’s something they don’t want.
Solution: These two opinions could be combined. You can acknowledge slavery without changing ‘zwarte piet’. In my opinion they should use this period of the year to teach children about slavery. They should teach kids that it was bad and that Sinterklaas gave ‘zwarte piet’ a well paid job in which he does only fun things. He is smart, proud and beautiful. This way you do both. This would be my answer three years ago but today I think this is not possible any more. I think they should change it now. If you hurt someone you have to say sorry and move on.
I believe I have my preferences and will choose my partner based on those. I am single. When I was younger I wasn’t really into anything but White girls or Latinas because that was all I knew. Now that has changed a lot. I became part of a gospel choir and got into contact with very beautiful people with very beautiful souls, and I learned a lot from that. That widened my world a lot. I don’t care where someone is from (never did). I care about the match we have and how good of a person you are. Culture doesn’t have anything to do with that. I live a very happy life. I am very grateful for all the beautiful things that I’ve been able to do. I don’t really believe that has anything to do with where I come from. If anything, I think that connecting with everyone is something I could name. Because I think that I connect to everyone very easily. But I think that that also has to do with my personality.
In the Netherlands I am seen as a Black guy. If I go to a club (or even a store) I get checked and searched way more often than friends (depending on which part of the Netherlands we are at, not in Amsterdam). One day in Breda for example, I went out with a group of friends. We were with a group of twelve and only my ID was checked. The bouncer told me that I should behave when I was in there.
Something similar happened in Beverwijk. I went out and the bouncer said that there were already three Black guys in there, so I couldn’t get in. I knew the owner, so I got in anyway and for ‘fun’ thought, let’s count. I counted three. So yes, I experienced a lot when it comes to racial challenges. I always try to stay calm and don’t let it hurt me. I can’t show them pain. I can show them compassion and teach them a little bit. Put them in their place a little.
In Suriname I am Dutch, not White, but Dutch. People recognize that you don’t speak Surinamese immediately and they will make you pay more. But those things are not as hurtful. I do, on the other hand, believe that the most difficult thing is that since you are not Black, nor White people feel like you don’t have the right to say things. If I say something about race to Black people I hear ‘yeah but for you it’s easier because you’re not dark skinned’. On the other hand, when speaking to the native Dutch, they do not believe any of the negativity we have experienced. They think it’s not as bad as we make it seem. These two are very challenging.
I connect through my hobbies. Like I said earlier I’m part of a gospel choir. This is one of my crazy hobbies. I perform on the biggest stages in the Netherlands with a lot of very talented people, and a lot of different cultures. This is a world where everyone is different. Black, White, gay, straight or however the person chooses to identify. Everyone comes together in that world and accepts each other for who they are.
I also play football and used to play on a high level. In the amateur world where I played most people were White. The world of football is a lot rougher. There are less boundaries in what people can say. On the field you will hear the worst things you will hear in your life. You will be discriminated against and yelled at. So I get that people in that world find it hard to come out and be proud of who they are. But in those two worlds I can reach every aspect of my personality. I can be a beast and a winner on the field and a smooth and sensitive person on the stage.
When I was in high school I really liked hoodies and shiny things. I wore gold shoes, my leathers and black new era cap, and had a fro. I listened to hip hop and RnB and I was going to do something in sports. When I grew a little older I cleaned up a lot because I knew that would make my life easier. I wore nice shoes and shorts and stuff because people would accept you quicker if you dress ‘nice’. I think I didn’t wear a hoodie in two years and then became part of the gospel choir. I realized what I changed into and didn’t like my wardrobe anymore, so I changed it back and now it’s a 50-50 mix between those. Nowadays I like old skool music as well. I can really appreciate an Otis Redding album or something like that.
I have rhythm and love to dance, I have to dance when I’m on stage. My friends always look at me weird when we’re in a club because I’m always dancing.
My outlook has changed a lot over the years and it still is. When I was young I wasn’t aware of what it meant to be different from other kids. It was probably when I went to high school when you start to have experiences that change the way you think about life itself. I think it can be a huge benefit in a lot of places but I will never really fit in with anyone. I don’t feel that need either. I was never a guy that looked for the racial side of things. I always looked at things for what they were and didn’t take those things personal. When you grow older and get more experienced you see things clearer and for what they are. I hope that my future children can grow up in a world where they don’t have to think about the way they look or where they’re from. I think that my opinion will change in the future the same way the world is changing. If the situation changes I will change with it.
In the gospel choir I will shout YES! Everyone is welcome. You will be loved and supported for who you are or want to be in the choir. That place has a lot of love. At my workplace I think so as well. It isn’t as loving as the choir, but I work in a very nice environment where there is at least some diversity and people are open to it.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I want to come back healthy, no kidding. Also, exactly as I am right now, I wouldn’t change a thing. I am a very happy person and if something in my life on the way to where I am at right now would change, I might not have been here. I have a tattoo on my arm with the text, only love can conquer hate. To me this means that whatever people throw at me, I will respond from love. I hope more people will listen and respond with respect for each other.