Batak | Moluccan/Javanese/Dutch/German
My roots stem from Batak, Moluccan/Javanese and Dutch-German blood (from colonial origin. So I would identify myself asa gado gado, or probably 'orang campur’.
‘Orang’ is Malay for human and ‘campur’ means 'mixed' and is often used to describe an Indonesian dish. Typical that I describe myself with food. I grew up in a Christian Pentacostal home, and was raised very strict in comparison with Dutch friends. I've been married now for almost 17 years and am a Mom of two sons of 14 and 19.
My Mum is Batak, from the Batak Toba tribe born in Pematang Siantar and my Father is half Ambonese (Moluccan) and half Indo (Javanese/Dutch-german), born in Medan. They emigrated in the 70’s to the Netherlands together with my Grandmother (from Father's side). Recently I discovered my Father planned to emigrate in the 60’s, but due to circumstances it didn't happen right away.
The Batak, from my Mothers side, also have a very strong culture, with their own language and traditions, music and arts. My Father was not typically raised in a Moluccan family (as my Grandfather was a Moluccan and my Grandmother was an Indo), so the Batak side was much more represented in our home.
I don't think it's about hiding. It's more coming to know yourself, your background and learning to embrace all parts, but also not minding other people's opinion of you. As a woman of mixed roots, you don't fit in any box; Indonesian, Moluccan, Batak, Javanese, Dutch-German, who grew up in the Netherlands and growing up with 'two cultures', the Dutch/Western and Indonesian. Trying to answer the ‘Who am I’ question is somewhat harder then. Where I once tried to fit in all those boxes, I eventually chose my own path and actually love and embrace my mixed heritage. I think it could help build bridges between those different backgrounds.
My role model is I think a combination of all people who overcome something very challenging, come from humble backgrounds, but work hard and rise above it and eventually live their best life. I also admire female musicians/artists with mixed heritage like Judith Hill, who don't always get the credit they deserve, but are crazy talented. I think I admire women/people who go against the stream, live their purpose unapologetically. I love that it's becoming more and more normal to see female musicians on stage. It's a great example for young girls. There is a lot of polarization going on in society nowadays, between races, between political views, religion and so on. There's a lot of 'yelling your opinion' in the media.
I think it doesn't always help coming together, to understand each other and to change things. It's the worst on social media. I love this true story of Daryl Davies who became friends with White supremacists which eventually led to 200 of them leaving the KKK. That is a powerful story and it started with conversation and listening.
Before I started my own business, a music school and academy. I had different big personal challenges in my life to overcome, one of them was raising my oldest son as a single Mother for a few years before I got married. I think that shaped me a lot, and made me stronger.
Due to the last 2 years of the covid situation, as an entrepreneur I've had many challenges business and personal wise. But because of the earlier life experiences and obstacles, I know the only way through a challenge is to persevere, and go right through it, even if it's so hard, never give up! It makes me think of the Sound of Blackness song ‘Whatever it takes, to make it, I'm going all the way’.
The years I've been an entrepreneur I've definitely been challenged as a female entrepreneur, then being a female entrepreneur in a world where men are dominant and then being from Asian background, sometimes being laughed at or ridiculed. It's no different from how I grew up and how my children grow up. They are very aware of their mixed identity and skin of color. Mainly my oldest son had to face racism, because he has darker skin. But I tell them to be proud of it, but also be wise in their reactions. They are becoming strong and resilient human beings.
Sometimes people are just ignorant. And as I said earlier, people try to put you in boxes.
They have a hard time not being able to place you in a box or to label you. Not Indonesian enough for the Indonesians. Not enough Moluccan for the Moluccans, or not Dutch enough and so on. What you feel about yourself inside, that is what matters.
As a teen I visited Indonesia in the nineties with my whole family and got to meet family overseas. It was life changing. After six weeks in Indonesia, I didn't want to go back to the Netherlands.
I think now it enriches me, to have so many different sides to your cultural heritage.
Also, in the end it is the inner beauty and character that shines through and being mixed with the colorful expression of it.
People are still surprised to hear I'm the owner/founder of my company. They often question me or they downplay it, or they think my husband (who is Dutch) is the owner and I'm the assistant. I remember that in a lot of music education classes, which I followed, here in the Netherlands, I was the only one from a non-Dutch background. I also noticed that music education in the Netherlands in the past didn't represent the multicultural society. I often chose Black American music for my class assignments because a lot of popular music stems from Black music (motown, spirituals, jazz, blues) and I think it's important to educate the next generations. When I did so, I got criticized for my choices by the educators. That was in 2015, a lot has changed since then.
As an entrepreneur I definitely had to cope, improvise and steer my company, a music school, through lockdowns, online lessons, and concerts, and the rollercoaster of always changing covid regulations,which was a huge challenge, but we made it! Also as a Mom I definitely see how it impacted my kids' lives. I was very aware of them needing more help, motivation and keeping a positive mindset, which was not easy. On the other hand, I definitely appreciated the more 'quiet family times' and grew closer to them. So it had negative but also positive sides. One thing is for sure, life will never be the same. Corona either emphasizes differences in opinions, relationships, pulls people apart or brings people together. I think it's up to every one of us, which way you want to go.
We combine cultures by cooking the traditional Indonesian dishes, inviting people over for dinner, being hospitable and educating my kids on the history of the Dutch colonies. Unfortunately I don't speak Bahasa Indonesia or Malay, except for a couple of words. I used to play a lot of Indonesian songs. I should do that more.
My Father in law passed away last month. It made me even more aware how short and precious life can be and make the most of what you are given.