English/Irish | Punjabi/Pathan
I identify as a mixed-race Muslim who is heterosexual. My Mum identifies as an East African Asian. She was born in Kenya to Indian parents who were ethnically Punjabi and Pathan. My Mum spent her first 11 years in multiple East Africa countries before moving to Pakistan to complete her education and then moving to London aged 18. When I tell people about my Dad, I say his background is much more ‘boring’ in comparison. His Mother was Irish, and Father was English. A very typical mix in Britain. According to 23andme, it suggests that he is mostly North-western European. My Dad converted to Islam in his early 20s and a few years later had an arranged marriage which is how he met my Mum.
As a child I knew that my parents were different and how people might double take when looking at my Mum and Dad together. When I am alone with either parent, I don’t find this happens, only that people may look at my Mum as she is visibly Muslim. When we went to the mosque I could see that my Dad was White in a predominantly South Asian environment and knew that I was a different skin tone to most of my peers. As I became older, I think my observations of race lessened because my world became a lot more diverse. I don’t think I saw myself as being mixed, just that I was different from others, but I think religion affected that too. The concept of being mixed-race was not something I delved into properly until I was eighteen, and now even further since I have finished university. I often think about what it means to be mixed and how I am perceived in certain situations.
I think my parents did not purposefully try to combine their different cultures. Living in the UK and meant I easily understood my Dad’s culture because I was surrounded by it. I associate my Mum’s culture more with religion because of the prominent South Asian Muslim community in my area. If I consider whether I am closer to one culture than the other I conclude that I am very ‘half and half’ because of my upbringing. Growing up in an area with lots of different communities meant I felt I could happily connect to a range of people. This being said, sometimes I feel like the ‘other’ in a very White situation and likewise in a Brown situation.
My major friendship groups have changed throughout my life, until I went to secondary school my peers were mostly White, and I would be one of the darkest children in school. When I moved to secondary school most of my friends were White but as I aged I gravitated more towards South Asian Muslims. This was probably when I first tried to explore who I was and how my background influenced me. Once I moved to university I befriended a range of people from different ethnic and religious backgrounds, but London is so multicultural. For both friends and partners I believe having a deep connection is the most important thing. As I’ve got older, I feel more of a connection to those who share my experiences as being an ethnic minority or ethnically ambiguous.
I’m very against having Indian food unless it’s authentic. My music taste mostly seems to fall under British White men who play guitars, but I do have a soft spot for Bhangra. I can understand Urdu, so I do enjoy eavesdropping conversations when people don’t think I can understand.
My main positive experience is just the connection I have felt with others, especially when meeting BAME people. I have so many mixed-race friends and it’s mostly by chance but when we talk about mixed issues I do feel so much closer to them. I often find that people think that mixed-race describes someone of mixed Black and White heritage. When I tell people I’m mixed-race they don’t really believe me until I explain where my parents are from. If I ask people to guess my ethnicity, they presume I’m Spanish, Italian or French.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would happily return as myself, I absolutely love being mixed-race as I feel it helps me understand others. As time goes on more and more of the population will be mixed-race, my future children will only be ¼ non-White, but I still want them to consider themselves as multiracial. I hope that with the increase in the mixing of races it will lead to more understanding towards each other.
I want to thank mixedracefaces for allowing me to take part in this project. In the coming year I am going to be studying a MSc in Sociology and I will be on concentrating on mixed race research. I hope together we can all explore this field especially as individuals who are mixed themselves. If you are interested, please follow my twitter where I will be posting about my research from September @WhittingerS