British/Italian | Jamaican
I am a mixed-race, gender-fluid, pansexual person. Both of my parents were born in London but with parents that did not originate from here. My Father has an Italian father and British mother, and my mother has Jamaican parents. For as long as I can remember I have been aware, I was raised by my Father and he had different skin to me so I imagine I would have asked, especially once starting infant school. However, I didn’t realise the complexities that came with this until much later. I lived in London until I was nine and then I moved to Cornwall. I have always been an introvert and moving there meant I was never able to disappear. I have experienced a lot of racism and it wasn’t until I was older that I got to process it properly. Unfortunately my parents didn’t combine their cultures, they were only together for a short time. My Father had sole custody of me but made sure I got to experience a lot of both sides of my culture. Don’t get me wrong, Cornwall is a beautiful place with many great people, but ignorance is a huge issue. Living in a part of the country with your all White family, and in an area with an extreme lack of diversity and a lot of racism for nine years is very exhausting. From the age of ten I began compartmentalising to keep my head up.
Unfortunately, I have dated and befriended very few non-White people due to the areas of which I have lived. I have managed to find a sense of community online, but it is definitely something I would like in my day to day life one day. I have a mixed-race friend with very similar experiences and thoughts as me and it was a relief to find him and talk with him about things which no one in my life has ever really understood.
I try to try a range of different foods from my own cultures and many from the cultures of other people. I have discovered a lot of my favourite foods from exploring this. I used to be really into emo music, but the older I got the more I resonated with world music, hip-hop and African American artists. I am a performance poet and aspiring novelist. My work often focuses on self-love and identity. I am very fluid with how I express myself through fashion. I love Jamaican and African clothing and jewellery. As a kid I always had a big afro or braids and couldn’t wait until I could style my own hair. As a teenager I would spend hours relaxing and straightening my hair before going back to natural. For most of my twenties I’ve had buzz cuts or short hairstyles but I’ve recently been inspired to explore the possibilities of weaves and more at afro hair salons.
As soon as I left Cornwall, I began to slowly connect with myself and my identity more and process everything. In the last year there has been another huge shift in my life and in the world around me. I have become much more vocal. Through writing I have gotten over searching for the validation of my voice and I just speak my own truth. I love honouring my truth and expressing myself between all the binaries I fall within.
I’ve always wanted the power of shapeshifting so I think if I had the opportunity to be reborn that would be pretty cool.