British | Jamaican
I would identify myself as mixed-race (White/Black Caribbean) / British & Jamaican & straight. My Father is White British from Bethnal Green and my Mother was born in the U.K but her parents are of Jamaican heritage and came to the U.K in the early 1960’s. My parents met at their east-London secondary school and were in a relationship from the age of 13. I think my parents always saw their love as the only tangible thing in their lives to fight for. It was something real that they had discovered in each other regardless of what others thought, said or did. I think it also helped that my White Dad could shake some hip at Reggae parties in the 80’s. To be honest I think that sealed the deal for my Mum. I always pictured my parents being like the king and queen on a chess board from the opposite teams who came together and fought against the rest; back in those days race was territorial and those who crossed those lines would often get racism from both sides of the fence. They combined their different cultures by being true to themselves whilst being open minded out of respect for their love. Full respect.
The increase in acceptability and integration today is synonymous with freedom and individualisation. I think in this generation mixed-race relationships are normalised because these days people feel less pressured to comply to previous racial norms. The best human relationships are not based on what is skin deep but rather what lies beneath. I think the fact there are so many visible communities, groups and examples of interracial relationships in society illustrates not just changing attitudes but also changing realities. Today, racism in the UK seems to exist in a subtle and more nuanced way (not to say that isn’t just as dangerous) but back in the 70’s/80’s my parents faced a lot of overt racism because of their relationship. I guess times change, people change, and societies can change.
I’m pretty open to anyone, regardless of race. Recently I looked at my extended family and realised how ‘mixed’ they really are. Cousins, grandparents, aunties and uncles on both my White and Black side embrace integration. I always joke that my family looks like a dulux paint chart. Subconsciously I think this has made me naturally open to different relationships irrespective of race. People are people. Beauty is beauty. It is what it is.
For me, the number one ‘mixed-gift’ is adaptability. Being adaptable to different people and having some kind of common ground has helped me so much in life especially with cultures that are not of your own. Being mixed-race you can reach a crossroads where you either feel part of multiple cultures, or you don’t feel like you belong to any. I’ve always embraced my background to help with inclusiveness not seclusion. I have so many different friends of different races, it makes you forget about the concept of race entirely at times. I feel that I look deeper than skin because that’s what got me here in the first place and I like being around different people because it lends perspective to things deeper than what is on the surface. I always say, ‘The most beautiful thing about us all being different is that we have yet to find out how similar we all truly are’. That is a general positive experience.
I think being raised in the 1990’s/2000’s it was an era of ‘mixed-race fashion’. There were singers, athletes, role models to look up to and I think that was clear for most to see. However, most of my few challenges with being mixed have been more recent. I see being mixed as the personification for integration in the modern world. Its evidence of progression and changing attitudes. However in these divisive times where people can always find a way to identify different people as the ‘other’ it has left me in a position of limbo. Are we still going in the same cultural direction that led to my existence? Are we going backwards and if so what does that mean? If I’m being honest I don’t think progression can ever occur without intermittent regression as a reaction to constant change. I guess the challenge I’ve faced with this is the realisation that integration, although a reality in my world, is not the reality to many people who see the ‘other’ or the ‘enemy’ as a person who is different from them in ways they cannot control.
I was raised by a White cockney Father which has rubbed off on me culturally and through the way I talk. Phrases like ‘she’s good as gold’, ‘darling’ and ‘Ta-Da’ spring up at least 6 times a day. New people I meet always bring up the fact that they’re surprised by the way I talk and that weirdly makes me feel proud of it. It’s a big part of me and I’m glad it’s noticeable. On the flip side, I connect with Jamaican side more through food, music and social engagement. I like the island culture and it has allowed me to connect with some of my closest friends as we have that ‘culture’ in common.
My immediate nationalities I have visited. Born in England and I visited Jamaica when I was younger. My English side I’m in touch with is pretty heavy. The grey skies and steak and kidney pies fill me with a sort of nostalgic happiness. It’s lovely. Visiting Jamaica was an eye opener. It really did make me realise what was missing from my life and it helped me identify what to embrace and search for within myself. The positivity and strength of the people there against adversity, the curry goat, the music, the humidity, the ocean. It changed me. On the flight home I listened to Dennis Brown and Barrington Levy like a toddler listening to the bloody frozen soundtrack. To this day I’m in tune with my Jam town roots.
I recently did an ancestry DNA test and discovered my Black Ancestry (pre-slavery) includes Benin, Togo, Cameroon, Congo, Ivory Coast, Ghana and Mali and my White side includes English, Scottish and Norwegian. I have a plan to get some soil from each of those countries and put them in a jar to keep me humble. Hopefully the soil will all be different colours, that would be cool.
I work in television and I write scripted comedy TV pilots and series. I find it is the perfect space for inclusivity as when I write; brainstorming from a centrist place regardless of race, gender, social class, age or sexuality makes for better storytelling. The best script could be in any of these spaces. I’m actually working on a series idea based around the mixed-race experience in a comedic narrative which feels like the perfect job for me right now.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would like to return mixed-race. The ambiguity of the mixed-race experience is priceless.