Austrian | Nigerian
I identify myself as mixed-race; half Austrian and half Nigerian. One day I’d love to discover if there are more facets in my ancestry from a few generations back. My Mum is from Austria, and my Dad is from Nigeria, they met each other in the beautiful city that is Vienna. My Dad had lived in Austria already for quite some time before they met. Both had been married before and had kids, and then decided to have me.
Probably most consciously I recognised I was mixed-race once I had started school. Even though I obviously always noticed I look different (I hardly had any mixed-race or Black friends), I thought of myself as being exactly like my White friends, and I considered myself an Austrian girl.
Being close to my Mum and having mainly White friends definitely affected how I felt about myself. I thought of myself as Austrian and that I fitted in perfectly. I’m quite lucky that there were hardly any moments during my childhood where I had to face racism. There might only be a handful of incidents I remember. As it happens with a lot of people, I experienced more racism in my adult life than when I was a child. Unfortunately my parents divorced when I was about 12, and I naturally got a bit closer to my Mum. But I remember well that my Dad tried to bring me to Nigerian community meet-ups for me to get closer to his heritage and Nigerian culture. We’d very often listen to Nigerian music in the car, I used to love that. Once I started to connect with my half-sister (we have the same Dad, different White mums) and having also a mixed-race female role model to look up to, I also started to get more interested in knowing how she experienced life as a mixed-race woman in
Austria.
After finishing school and during my early 20s I definitely had much more experiences where I felt I’m either judged due to my identity, being fetishized/sexualised or seen as some sort of ‘different quality girl’. Only a few years later I really understood that some guys would only be interested in me because they wanted to experiment or see how it is to be with an ‘exotic girl’ but would have never considered something serious with me. At the time I didn’t really understand. Now I can understand better what must have gone through their head (not much). On the other hand however, and this is really weird to admit, I always saw myself ending up with a White man, an Austrian man. As my Austrian identity was always more dominant. I got to the age of 26 before I had a more serious relationship with a Congolese man in Vienna. I remember wondering: ‘how would that be if we were to have a Black baby in Vienna?’.
Back in Vienna I was probably very influenced in my interest or choice of men. When it comes to friends, I always loved being amongst many different cultures and backgrounds. When I was 25, I spent two months living in Istanbul and had the most amazing experience of my life, it was when I realised that a life in Vienna, although it’s definitely one of the most beautiful cities, wasn’t for me anymore. I needed more diversity, more inspiration, I needed to broaden my horizons and immersive myself into the vibe of a big multi-cultural city like London, so I moved in 2012.
Since moving to London I’ve definitely connected more with African cultures and appreciate the beauty of my heritage. I’m so proud to be half Nigerian and I’m embracing it much more. I enjoy going to events for the Black/BAME communities and feel I belong, even if I’ve not grown up in Africa. Since I’ve met my partner, a Ghanaian, in 2013, I’ve been wearing my natural hair out, after having straightened it from age 12 to 26, how crazy is that!!! We had our First child in May 2019 and I can’t wait to raise her being proud of where she comes from, not hiding any of her Austrian, Nigerian or Ghanaian background.
Living in London my mix is just one of so many interesting and beautiful mixes. Sometimes I get on the bus and I could be the person with the lightest skin, noticeable at first, but nothing out of the ordinary in London. I love that. I treat other people with the same openness that I would expect, and I’m inspired by people who proudly showcase their routes with their clothing, jewellery, make-up etc. Whenever I go back to Vienna now to visit family and friends I’m more ‘brave’ to also be out and about with African print, or a headwrap for example. Even if I might get some weird looks.
I believe in reincarnation. The world will only become more and more diverse I think so who knows, how about half Turkish, half Australian?