Tongan | Chinese/Indonesian

Photo credit: provided by subject

As a young female who was born in Australia, I identify as Australian. Despite this when asked about my ethnicity I identify as Tongan, Chinese, and Indonesian. My Tongan Grandparents raised me to be a Catholic and I was baptized at birth. In spite of this, I live alone with my Chinese Father and don't embrace my Catholic religion as he is an atheist. My Mother was born in New Zealand but is of Tongan descent, and my Father was born in Australia although he is Chinese and Indonesian. My parents met in high school through a mutual friend. 

Their cultures were and still are completely different, although they both found to love each other's traditions, foods, and behaviours. My Mother, who is Tongan, has a strong sense of tradition where we eat Topai, Lú (meat with coconut milk wrapped in taro leaves then wrapped in banana leaves - absolutely delicious!), and ‘Ota ‘ika (raw fish marinated in citrus juice and coconut milk). These foods aren't commonly known to those who aren't Tongan due to their complex names. As well as the Tongan community is more collective and inclusive because there are more family members, where my Mother appreciates family gatherings. On the other hand, my Chinese Father's family is stricter in behaviour and etiquette, which is completely opposite to the family complexities of my Mother. When with each other they both find themselves appreciating and enjoying each of their cultures although their parents (my Grandparents) show a bit of restriction towards them because of their difference in culture and beliefs.

My cultures don't have any influence over my partner, I've found myself having an interest in men of various cultures and ethnicities. Due to my culture, I do find myself more associated with other Asian persons who do contribute to developing relationships with Asians because of my culture, but It doesn't affect how I would choose a partner. Personality is all that matters to me. Yes, at times I have hidden my Chinese identity. This isn't because of me being ashamed of being Chinese, but to avoid the conversation that follows. Being part of Tongan my appearance isn't the stereotypical Chinese image. I'm tanned skin, quite tall, have thicker hair, and have a larger framework. Usually, when I tell people I'm Chinese, they don't believe me because of my appearance (mainly my skin colour) and ask me to 'prove' that I'm Chinese.

I love interracial relationships, I believe individuals gain so much more from being in an interracial relationship. I don't favour it over non-interracial relationships but think they provide greater experiences. When in this relationship individuals experience more of a different culture, it enhances their cultural literacy and deepens their appreciation for other cultures. 

Being both Chinese and Tongan is difficult when associating with different family members, In my Chinese and Indonesian family, they've taught me to behave with a large amount of etiquette, stay quieter and are typically more serious. However, my Tongan family who's more free-spirited believes I don't need to display large amounts of manners towards them, be more open in conversations, and have more fun. Thus the differences between my ethnicities make it hard to decide how to behave around my friends and others in society because of the extreme differences in behaviour.

I haven't visited Tonga, Indonesia nor China mostly because I don't have many relatives overseas. Although because Tonga is a small island and takes pride in their immense cultural values my Grandmother has always wanted us to visit Tonga and learn more about their culture, and I plan to go as soon as possible.

My outlook of being mixed has always been the same, in the future I think it will still stay the same. I have always believed that I'm lucky to be a mixed-race individual because I have fun learning more about Chinese and Tongan.

My workplace is considerate of my gender, cultures, and sexuality as my work community is very diverse as well.

If I were to be reborn, I would definitely choose to become who I am today, I am extremely fascinated by my Tongan ethnicity. This is mostly because it's quite an undermined and unknown ethnicity, but I have found pride in explaining to others about Tonga and their cultures. I love being mixed-race and it's influenced my personality quite a lot. If I were to be only Chinese, or only Tongan or only Indonesian I wouldn't have the same respect for each ethnicity that I do today.

During the Coronavirus pandemic, I first struggled with staying at home but found it necessary for the safety of my family and myself. Due to my weak immune system, I found staying at home was more beneficial. As a student, I have been studying although I try to take necessary breaks and exercise with my Father. Although it's difficult I try to maintain my health and enhance my wellbeing through keeping in contact with friends and taking up new hobbies! Despite being Tongan and Chinese, I've started developing an interest in learning Korean and French.