Scottish | Hong Kong Chinese

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I'm a mixed Chinese/Scottish Actor living in London. My Mum comes from Scotland and my Dad from Hong Kong. My parents met at University in St Andrews and the rest is history. 

My Mother moved to Hong Kong shortly after my parents married. She threw herself into the culture, learning the language and working as a doctor in a Chinese hospital. Even after we moved back to the UK, she used to play Chinese violin music to me when I was growing up. I think she loves the culture and admires the people. She always tells me how different and exciting it seemed compared to her upbringing in Aberdeen. 

After we moved to the UK, we used to visit Hong Kong at least once a year. My summer holidays would be spent between Scotland and Hong Kong. It was exciting and now I know both places so well, when I visit, it feels like going home. 

None of us were taught Chinese as children, however both my brothers have gone on to learn it as adults. I think my Mother would have liked us to have learnt it but as soon as we moved to the UK schooling took over. 

When my Mother was working in the hospitals in the UK, my Scottish Grandparents used to look after us. On New Year’s Eve, we'd have a Hogmanay party and the house would be filled with fiddle music and tartan. I’ve since gone on to be part of a folk fiddle group. I like to think my Grandad would be proud. 

Everyone I’ve dated has been different, but I suppose they have all been adventurous in their own ways. They like to travel. They like to explore new places and cultures. Maybe that’s something I look for because of my mixed heritage. I’m not sure I could be with someone who believes they’re only meant to stay in one place. 

Last year I took my boyfriend to Hong Kong. He’d never been before so we explored all the touristy sights and then we spent a few days doing normal things. Eating in the market and shopping like locals. It was brilliant. I could see us living there. 

The acting industry is so much about looks. I still think it is based on stereotypes to some extent. I have never hidden my cultural identity, but I have definitely accentuated it on occasions. ‘Be more Asian’, wear clothes that make you look ‘more exotic’, ‘more interesting’. I was taught at drama school to play to my ‘selling points’. It was pointed out to me very quickly that I should look a certain way to play Asian characters. I still go in for Chinese characters a lot, but often find I'm not Chinese looking enough! The eternal struggle of a mixed-race actor!

There are so many interracial relationships in the world today. Most people are not simply made up of one race. I think mixed race relationships are the best! People’s differences are what make them exciting. 

I think being mixed race and having spent time in other countries and cities gives you an openness and an understanding towards different cultures. In the best way possible, it shows you that you are one person in a whole world of different people. The way you live and behave may be unique, but it is not necessarily the best and only way. I think the more exposure you have to different cultures, the more accepting you become.

I remember a friend's sister asking me if I had ever experienced racism. I remember thinking it was an odd question and not understanding why she would have asked me. I never considered myself anything but White growing up. I understood my Father lived in Hong Kong and I was born there, and I had Chinese relatives, but when I was at school with my friends, I considered myself the same as them. My Mother is White, my Grandparents were White, my siblings look the same as me. I had an English accent. There was nothing different about me at all. 

Then I went to University. I was automatically put in halls called International House due to my Chinese surname. People used to ask me the best dishes to get at the Chinese takeaway and one guy told me I tasted like Chicken Chow Mein. I found myself for the first time having to justify my mixed roots. I am not just one thing. I speak with an English accent, but neither of my parents are from England. I went to school here but don't imagine myself spending the rest of my life here. 

I have since come to understand and love my mixed-race heritage. I think as you get older your sense of identity becomes stronger anyway. The world isn’t Black and White, people aren’t just one thing and you’re allowed to feel differently every day. So sometimes I put my hair a certain way and feel Chinese and sometimes I see myself in the mirror and feel more White than ever. 

Last year, two directors cast me in parts that would traditionally have been played by White actors. This has changed my view on the industry and my view on what my career could be. These parts gave me confidence, and a platform to show my scope as an actor. 

In some ways, I think it is harder as a mixed-race actor to find your place in the industry. I feel we spend so much time modifying ourselves to squeeze into premade boxes. However in the last few years, I think real steps have been made to showcase the diversity in the profession. 

If I was reborn, I would like to come back as one of the first people to travel to space. It must have been so exciting to think you were about to discover whole other worlds! 

A few days after the Brexit vote I was on a London bus and a woman told me to get off and 'go back to my own country'. As lockdown was beginning to happen in the UK, I was shouted at to 'stay away and go back home'. Although both these incidents are horrible and shouldn't have happened, they reminded me of who I am. Neither of these women heard me speak, they judged me purely on my appearance and saw me to be something other than English. But I am proud to be something other than just English, I am proud to be mixed and proud to have experiences and heritage which I think makes the world a more interesting place. 

I'd be lying if I said there haven't been moments where I've really struggled. I'm usually quite a strong person. I manage to shrug most things off and pick myself back up quite quickly. It's something you have to learn if you work in performing. A thick skin is essential. But this pandemic has been really scary. It's affected everyone, at worst people have lost people and at best, people have lost their jobs, motivation or joy in life. It feels like my entire industry has gone into standstill and we're constantly reminded of how perilous this time is financially for theatres. We are so expendable as actors to begin with, but if only a few theatres survive this, the industry will become even more oversaturated. It’s a scary prospect but one I try not to think about too much. I am trying to remain positive and try new things. I have my daily routine. I've rekindled my love of painting and try to paint a portrait a day. I've started writing too. I'm trying to finish a short story at the moment. And in a real moment of lockdown boredom, I cut myself a fringe.