Mexican | Indian

Photo credit: subject

I am a young Muslim adult with Asperger's. 

My Mom is from Mexico (Mestizo), and my Dad is from India (Madras), with Pashtun heritage. They met in Chicago, Illinois through mutual friends. My parents initially struggled to communicate their cultural viewpoints without offending each other, which caused conflict. However, with time, they learned to listen to one another and not take things personally. What I observed from their relationship was how fascinating human beings are. We are all essentially the same, yet also very different. My parents also knew it would be confusing for me to grow up in three different worlds, so they made sure to surround me with other multi-ethnic families. I noticed a similar pattern among us all, where out of love for one another, we set aside any differences. So I would say love is the biggest takeaway from my upbringing.

I find that I naturally gravitate toward my Mom's culture because it is easier to visit Mexico versus across the globe to India. Although I can read and write Urdu I'd love to speak it fluently so I can navigate the culture with ease.

Growing up, I over complicated things. I was always trying to fit into both cultures at once which left me discouraged and resentful. I have a more relaxed approach now and I'm able to appreciate having access to three different cultures and make the most of it. In the first few years of living in Mexico I wore a hijab, this was an extremely isolating experience, people viewed me as an outsider and a threat. This was extremely hurtful since I saw them as my people, but they did not see me as one of them. The only thing that remedied the situation was my taking off the hijab, it was a difficult decision but I couldn't handle another minute of ostracization and harassment. I often hide that I'm Muslim to avoid making people uncomfortable or simply because I don't feel like answering a million questions that I've answered too many times before.

A pivotal moment for me was stepping out of my comfort zone, engaging in deep conversation with locals in Mexico, enrolling in school, and creating a social network. making that leap was eye opening, before that I didn't know I was capable of fitting in anywhere. I learned that with focus and discipline I could learn everything I needed to integrate. Being the odd one out is a blessing in disguise, it gives you a unique perspective which is an absolute weapon when used correctly. You can either use this to contribute meaningful change in the world, or to uphold systems of racial oppression, your pick.

The intersectionality of my identity is complex and difficult to capture, I've yet to see it represented or fully appreciated but I can understand why. To retain my Indian heritage I use Urdu words, eat Indian food, and wear trading clothes. This makes me feel connected to it while being away from the community. This is cliche but my parents are my role models, I don't know anyone else who deserves that title. 

I've been called mixed, guerra, exotic, White-passing, and racially ambiguous; I don't like any of these descriptions because they're either dehumanizing, oversimplifying my identity or are completely incorrect.