English/Nigerian | English/German/Unknown

Photo credit: subject

I was born with a ginger Afro and green eyes, as well as eczema. I also have freckles, but this developed over time. I remember as a child I was able to count these over my body. Pigmentation is fun, I’m like a patchwork. But to others I looked like a burn victim. So questions from kids I could understand, but it still hurt. Adults on the other hand, they will never understand the hurt they caused.

My Mum is English (my Nan) and Nigerian (my Grandad). My Dad is mixed English & German. He also has heritage from other European countries but little is known. They met on a night out, Mum was 18 and Dad was 20. My parents told me that after a few dates my Mum asked ‘have you dated a Black girl before?’, Dad answered ‘yes’. The same question was asked, ‘have you dated a White man?’. Mum said ‘yes’. They both lied. After being together 5 years, in 1990 they had their first child, my brother Kane, in 1992 I was born, and finally in 2000 my little sister Issy. At the time of them being together certain individuals were highly offended by their courtship. They definitely experienced difficulties due to my Dad being White and Mother being Black.

As a child, I looked up to my Mum, Dad and brother a lot, but I was more of a free spirit with my head in the clouds. I grew up in Poplar, London. It’s not far from Canary Wharf. I remember the kids calling me ninja and I remember adults turning around pubs. When I was a kid I didn’t get why they did that, I didn’t have a karate uniform. This would happen a lot. Sometimes I’d be humorous and strike a karate pose, other times I was just confused. In my 20s, someone finally broke it down: ninja = Ginger N(word). To think, I’d had no idea. I felt like a fool but at the same time happy I didn’t as on bad days people shouting ginger outta a moving van hurt, so imagine if I knew local kids and people pouring out of pubs after matches or sunny days, they were saying that.

I like to think that I was raised to believe people are just people. Due to my own experiences I sway more towards my Black side and the funny thing is that my Mum’s Mum was White, so due to her views being understandably pro White the actual stories are historical and not based around culture.

My Dad taught me I have to always support the underdog, and in this world Black lives are not valued. In this world if I walk into a room people will always try to dissect me. For a long time I used to try and explain myself, but now at 31 I’m finally done. If you don’t understand genetics in 2024 I have no words for you.

There’s a book, Big Fish Small Pond. In the book the man sat on a bus, which was packed. Rather than sitting in the seat next to him, people preferred to sit and stare. He wrote how dehumanised he felt, like he wasn’t human.

You are you, who you are will infinitely develop so just be present, inevitably you're going to go through changes so appreciate who you are and what you stand for. Do what you love, live how you wish to, fear nothing and no one.

I was always proud of every part of my heritage. I used to carry little pics in my purse of my Mum and Dad to help others understand my background. I look like my Mum but with my Dads complexion. I did hide my hair a lot as it felt like a beacon, growing up a lot of White vans, bin trucks, road works and at construction sites they would shout, and sometimes throw things. I remember coming into my own in my 20s when a couple of people decided to move seats on a bus and take a picture of me to show friends. That’s when I finally snapped and thought, no not today. They attempted to portray me as the aggressor when all I’d done is ask them to delete the image of me.

I really adore Asia; especially Japanese culture. Art, history especially, but they are so ahead of anywhere else.

I'm an artist, and have a 3 year old daughter who’s Nigerian, Ghanaian and German (single mum). When my daughter was 3 months old I decided to move away from London to live nearer to my Mum, who lives in Hythe.