Japanese | American

Photo credit: provided by subject

I identify as a Japanese, Jewish American Buddhist. My Mother is from Tokyo and my Father was from Philadelphia, PA. My Dad was in the Air Force and stationed in Tokyo. He met my Mother through mutual friends and never left. They used a dictionary for their first few dates. My Dad did not speak Japanese and my Mom was studying English but was nowhere near conversational. Although my Dad did not speak Japanese, he loved the culture so much that he always felt that his heart connected with theirs. So language was a barrier, but he actually wanted to retire there. We actually buried him in Japan. In addition to not knowing each other’s languages, my Dad had to learn what my Mother’s Buddhist practice entailed and my Mom had never heard of Judaism. They managed to help each other learn and respect each other’s culture and so have I.

I celebrate major Jewish holidays and practice Buddhism on a daily basis. Both of my parents embraced and encouraged each other’s culture and let me shape how I want to identify. My parents were very similar in both very independent people who were both very compassionate down to earth people who always wanted to learn more about people. They were incredible together and never pushed me on any religion and let me find what fits me.

I struggled a lot growing up because both Japanese and Jewish cultures are homogenous. When people compliment me, it's because they want to know what my background is. I always respond with ‘half Japanese, half American’ and they always ask me if I feel more Japanese or American. I hate it because I do not truly think I am not more than the other. I speak Japanese and English fluently without an accent yet I apparently look more Japanese or American to one or the other. I have never hidden any part of my identity but I also try to be reserved about it because most people do not understand what it means to have grown up equally.

I tend to be attracted to people who are unique and different from me because I want to learn from different people and their culture; what makes them who they are. I think interracial relationships are awesome. Being able to have the best of both worlds, through my identity crises have been my treasure. Having an interracial relationship means being able to connect to another culture and that many more people. Both sides of my Grandparents were pretty hesitant about accepting their child’s marriage with a foreigner. However, once they met each other's new children in-laws, they fell in love. I want an interracial marriage because I want to learn another language and connect on a deeper level.

I have experienced discrimination in Japan because of looking ‘more American’ and Japanese people not taking me seriously. In the U.S., some of my non-Japanese friends do not understand my culture and do not really try hard to truly understand it. It is especially difficult to live with someone who has not lived in Japan because our customs are different. In the U.S., living in the rural Northeast U.S. where I was one of the only few diversity, it was rough. But, people are able to teach people about my culture, being able to connect to different people and people from my culture, although it has been very difficult, the positive experiences make it completely worth it.

We need to have conversations about racial inequality, even if it may be uncomfortable for some. In my case, looking like a White American girl is to my benefit as ‘White privilege’ when really, my Father would tell me his antisemitic experiences and my Mother was poorly treated at the grocery store. It is so easy to judge someone by their looks but we need to learn to be compassionate. People are only what they open up to you about but they really have more than that and that is where we need change, the immediate judgement.

I was born in Japan and lived up for most of my childhood on the beautiful island of Guam. In high school, I moved to the mainland U.S. In Japan, I went to an all English school and in Guam, I went to an all Japanese school. I had many identity crises (which at the time, I was unaware of what was going on). I often did not know how to handle it but my Dad took me to a psychiatrist who was also biracial. For the first time, I felt so relieved to know someone who understood me. My Mom and I talk about this all of the time. She is fully Japanese and came to the U.S., which is different from me embracing both cultures and feeling like I don’t belong. We both discuss how different the situations are. I would love to live in Japan but I don’t think I could live longer than a few months. I love that I am able to go to Japan once a year for a few weeks. With COVID, I already feel homesick and not knowing when I could go is difficult.

My outlook around my identity has become more and more open. Through Buddhism, I have always believed in attaining enlightenment and that everyone can be absolutely happy. As a child, love, peace, and respect were so important. But as maturity grows, I become more open and want to educate people. As a child, I did not know that my feelings were from being biracial. Now that I do, I have connected to people and keep learning more and keep sharing more.

I do not believe my ethnic background is really represented. Japanese people and Jewish people do not make a huge percentage of the population to begin with but the combination of both are also a low percentage. I have not met someone or worked with someone in my workplace who was mixed like me.

If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would relive my life again. I am so grateful for my experiences and my family/friends/support system. I would live the best of both worlds again.

Moving back home during the pandemic to finish my last year of college has been great. I am able to enjoy nature and be outdoors constantly. It has also made me focus on my future more and has been my motivational push to succeed to work in public policy.