Guyanese | South African

Photo credit: provided by subject

I identify as mixed, spiritual, straight & healthy. My family are from Guyana (by way of China) and South Africa (cape coloured). My parents met in high school.

I'm not sure that my parents ever combined their cultures. My Dad (South African) is very ‘meat and potatoes’. My Mom's West Indian culture has been a much larger part of my life. I remember waking up to the sound of soca and going to bed with a tummy full of my Grandma's homemade patties. My Dad still eats meat and potatoes.

Both Georgetown and Cape Town are fairly westernized. Both of my parents moved here fairly young. I think both of their families put emphasis on assimilating to a ‘regular’ Canadian lifestyle. I also grew up in a primarily white town. I was raised with heteronormative values. It wasn't until I went to university that I found other people who also identified as ""other""

I consider myself pretty lucky coming from a multiracial household. I don't need to worry about marrying into the same culture as my parents. I've seen my friends struggle with this. Because my mix is so specific, I've only ever been in interracial relationships. If anything, sometimes I find it hard relating to White partners. They often aren't receptive or sympathetic to my lived experience as a female visible minority. Makes for interesting conversation to say the least. To my knowledge, none of the parents of my former partners have taken issue with my race.

I do find it hard living as someone who looks full East Asian when my upbringing has zero of that culture. Growing up it was confusing when the majority of people expected me to be a certain way because of the way I look, but East Asian people (to some degree) don't accept me because I wasn't raised with the same values. It's still confusing at 31. I know my paternal grandparents had a hard time getting past my mom being Chinese.

I'll always remember being about 12 listening to a friend complain about a POC doing something in the seat next to her on the bus. How annoying he was. How he was different from her. And even at that age I didn't like how she made a point of mentioning the colour of his skin. It took 10 years before I found someone else who would've also taken issue with her account of events.

It can feel really isolating not belonging to any one group and being constantly exoticized. Especially now that online dating has become the norm. I think all mixed people, especially those of us of Asian descent, feel underrepresented not just in the media, but in all areas of life.

I haven’t visited both of my native countries. Most of my family is here in the GTA. I'd love to go to Cape Town. It gets a bit tricky with the water crisis there.

I think I've come into my own a lot more. I've asked MORE questions as I've gotten older. I have a stronger hold on who I am and how I relate to others. I now understand myself as someone who can demonstrate representation and be an advocate for not only other mixed-race individuals, but all types of allyship.

If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would want to return as something more free than a human. Something closer to the earth and the water. My spirituality is something I hold very close to my heart. I do believe in reincarnation. A bird. Let me fly.

To be very honest, the changes due to Covid hasn't been much of an adjustment for me. I'm fortunate enough to be working full time from home. I even got a promotion in April. The pandemic has been a fantastic opportunity to look inward, work on my mental health, and finally put my needs first. Also I got a dog.