Italian | Burundian
Photo credit: @spartaco_ph
I am half Italian and half Burundian. I was born in Kenya then grew up in Burundi. At 11 I moved to Italy. I really don’t choose between my two nationalities, I love them both and I want people to know that I’m mixed. I have three names; one of them (Kaze) is in Kirundi, the language of Burundi. During the past I felt ashamed by this name because people in Italy would joke about it. Now I’m proud of it because it is the proof on paper that I come from a beautiful African country. Both the countries are Catholic, so I’ve been raised in church. Although Catholic religion is universal and people all over the world believe the same things, in Burundi there is this magical connection with God that Italy doesn’t have, or I should say, I did not experience nothing like what I felt in my Burundian church. That’s why through the years I lost a lot of my faith and connection with church.
My Mom is from Burundi and my Dad from Naples in Italy. They first met in Burundi. My Dad trades second-hand clothes from Europe to Africa. They fell in love and stood together for 24 years until Dad died because of cancer in 2014. My parents were really lucky. The values of Neapolitan culture and Burundian culture are very similar. Respect, charity, compassion are in both cultures fundamental values. Burundian and Neapolitan people are very positive and always hope for the best, religious and kind. Family is the centre of every action and Sundays are made for getting together and eating a lot!
I am in an interracial relationship. I feel lucky. Today we get the chance to choose who we love without explanations. My parents had to go through racism, people always talking behind their back. My Dad was 25 years older than my Mum. So, at first nobody believed in their love. People said that my Mum only wanted my Dad’s money (because of the African stigma that the White man has a lot of money) and that my Dad only wanted a young girl for his vacation and then would leave her soon. They stood together for six years enjoying life then decided to have me and my sister, and we stood all together and united.
My culture does not affect the way I choose my partners, I choose partners for how I feel about them. I am attracted by Neapolitan men, but I think that’s because of the incredible man my Father was. I speak 4 languages; I can cook different meals and mix African cooking culture with the Italian one and the result is incredible. One of the most beautiful experiences I had was cutting my hair. I always wanted to have straight hair like most Italian girls, so I used many products to straighten them until they broke. I did the ‘big chop’ and got back my natural hair. It gave me confidence and my new style embodies my mixed culture.
It’s hard being half Black, racism is terrible. People told me things like: ‘so you’re not Italian?’. I said: ‘yes I’m half Italian’ and the answer was ‘Is that Italian part that saves you’. Or being forced to show my ID to prove I had Italian citizenship. Someone once told me ‘You’re not THAT Black’ as if being Black was an insult or something bad. Or wrong compliments like: ‘I like you because you’re light-skinned, I don’t like girls who are too dark’. Or when I say I don’t have my Dad they always say: ‘I’m sorry he left your family’, I’m forced to say: ‘No actually he never did, he died’.
I really like both my cultures. Since I live in Italy, I always try to stay connected with my Burundian part. I listen to African music and ask my Mom for news of the political situation. I really like following and supporting African artists. I really enjoy my Mom cooking African food, and always try to listen to her talking with relatives in Kirundi so I don’t forget it.
I lived in Burundi for 11 years so I remember a lot. I would really like to get back there because now I’m 23 and I really miss my family and the places where I grew. I always wanted to wear the traditional dress of Burundi, the ‘Invutano’. I was too little to have one and now that I’m older I’d like to go to a ceremony with it and bring baskets full of beans on my head. I would also like to dance to the sound of Burundian drums and eat ‘sombe’ with rice on a Sunday with my family.
As a child I didn’t understand the importance of being mixed. Now as I grow up, I want people to know that being mixed is just like a superpower. Having two homes in different parts of the world is beautiful. Knowing that you can understand different points of view, have different ways of acting based on different cultures. You get to be a new human being. I lived in a poor country that showed me the importance of living daily, caring for people, singing in the dark times and praying for good times to come. I learned that objects are nothing and the most important part of life is to have someone with you to share it. My Burundian education showed me the respect for old people. Then I lived in a big country, I lived in both Rome and Milan. They are both beautiful cities, but you can get lost in loneliness because people are focused on their work losing connection with each other. I learned discipline, hard work, commitment and competition. I think that with time I’ll learn to combine them even better and to take the best from both.
My workplace is inclusive and protective. I think Italy should work a lot on inclusivity because it was not always the best part of working. I experienced a lot of bad things in my past jobs because of my mixed culture and gender.
If I had the opportunity to be reborn I would return exactly the same, my upbringing made me the strong woman I am today. And although being mixed brought me many problems I think I must remember them to teach people how to respect those who will come after me. And obviously because of the incredible amount of melanin! I would like people to create the space for mixed people to express. I think knowing other cultures is the best way to become a better human being. Knowledge is the only way to destroy prejudice.