Chinese | Jamaican
Photo credit: Provided by subject
My name is MonaLisa. Not only do I have a unique name, my Father is Chinese and my Mother is Jamaican. I am reminded every day that I’m different, rare, or as someone describes me, ‘racially and artfully ambiguous’. If people don’t believe me that my name is MonaLisa, they would then be shocked when they learn that I’m half Asian and half Black, not Mexican or Hawaiian as most people guess me to be.
My Father, who is from Hong Kong, got the opportunity to work in Jamaica for two years in the late 1980s. During his time there, he met my Mother through a mutual friend. At the end of his work contract, they got married and my Mother followed him back to Hong Kong. They had four children there, with me being the oldest. When I was 12, my family moved to America to seek better education and career opportunities, and I have lived here since.
The world is definitely way more accepting of interracial relationships now compared to 30 years ago. When I was in college and graduate school (2010 to 2018) I saw many students dating people outside their race and culture. I currently work at an urban hospital, and I have seen many interracial couples bringing their children in for treatment. However, my parents (especially my Dad) got a lot of hate back in the 80s and 90s. My Mother’s family was pretty open to her marrying a foreigner, but my Dad’s family shunned him for it. As a child, I remember going to my Chinese family gatherings and people giving me and my Dad the cold eye. However, my grandfather eventually warmed up to us. He had a farm so he invited us to his farm to see his produce, and he would cook fish for my Mom. He passed away when I was 7, but because he accepted my parents’ relationship, the rest of the family eventually stopped giving us the cold shoulder.
My parents have done different things to help us embrace and maintain both of our cultures. When we lived in Hong Kong, my mother found a small group of African and Caribbean residents in Hong Kong who married a Chinese man, just like her. She would bring me and my siblings to meet up with a mixed family every month. She also took us to Jamaica twice to connect with her side of the family. Then when we moved to America, the situation flipped around. We moved to a city that’s primarily African American with a lot of Caribbean immigrants, so we were quickly immersed into Black culture. But there isn’t a sizable Chinese community around. My Dad’s solution to keeping our Chinese culture is to have us speak Chinese to him and at home, have us read Chinese articles regularly, and bring us to the only Chinese church in town. Up until this day, I still speak Cantonese and I managed to learn Mandarin. It’s been more than 15 years since we left Hong Kong and we still haven’t returned. We plan on returning in the summer of 2021 to reconnect with our Chinese roots.
Based on my experience, Black people (from any Black country) are more welcoming of diversity compared to Chinese (and other Asian) people. Even though I look different no matter where I go, Black folks are more curious and more accepting of my tan skin and curly hair. Chinese people however take some time. I believe due to their distrust and segregation from other races (those are cultural values), they want to build a rapport before showing friendliness. However, I do find that I build trust quickly with Chinese people because I speak Cantonese and Mandarin and I was born in Hong Kong. If those weren’t the cases, I believe my situation would be different.
Being biracial is actually a mostly positive experience for me. Because I have a unique name, unique look, and a very outgoing personality, almost everyone responds to me positively and want to be friends with me. It does get annoying when multiple people are asking the same dreaded questions, ‘where are you from?’ or ‘what are you?’. It’s most annoying when older people start singing the song ‘MonaLisa’ by Nat King Cole! But I see this as a teaching moment where I can share my culture and languages to people at school, work, and on the internet. I also see this as a critical moment to sharing my views with those that are ‘uneducated’ or perhaps ‘racist’. Within the White Caucasian community, most are curious and happy to talk to me, but there’s still a small number of them that don’t even want me in the room! I have had difficult conversations with Caucasian people about racial tensions in America, and usually they end the conversation with a dismissing ‘OK, whatever!’. But some of them chose to continue the conversation and listen to what I have to say. To sum things up, I use my uniqueness as an advantage, with the hopes of changing people’s perspective about race and ethnicity.
There was one time when I experienced direct racism constantly. When I was living in Hong Kong, my primary school’s Head of Disciplinary Actions (let’s call her Mrs. Liu) was racist again me and would seek different ways to humiliate me. She would claim that I harmed other students, destroyed school property, or plagiarized my homework. My parents went to the School Principal to complain every time Mrs Liu disciplined me for something I did not commit. The racism happened for five years, and my grades and social life suffered because of it. But my parents never gave up on the complaints. During 6th grade, Mrs. Liu was transferred to another school. A new Head of Disciplinary Actions was hired, and the new HDA liked me so much she gave me the position of prefect! I was assigned to counsel younger students and teach them how to obey school rules. I may have been a child, but this incident taught me a life-long lesson – be confident in my own uniqueness, stand up against injustice, and Karma applies to everyone!
If I were born again, I would return the way that I am right now. I have the best of all worlds! I see myself as a ‘walking educational speech’ about embracing your race and culture. I am unique and ambiguous just like the Mona Lisa… but that makes me beautiful!