English | Jamaican

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I identify as English & Jamaican, Heterosexual and a Christian. My Mum is White English and my Dad is Jamaican. My parents met through mutual friends, apparently it took my Dad ages to finally pluck up the courage to ask my Mum out on a date! I feel like there was a really nice balance in my household when it came to understanding both sides of my culture. It’s something I value to this day. They both raised me to appreciate my White, British side and my Jamaican side. 

One of the most memorable things about my childhood home was my Dad’s love for reggae. For him, music was his outlet. It was what made him happy. He had a huge sound system at home that would shake the walls when it was switched on. He’d play anything from Beres Hammond to Freddie McGregor. Every reggae artist got a chance to be played in our household. If there was one thing my parents made sure was stocked up in our house, it was good food, and they loved to mix it up. Every weekend my Dad would go shopping at the local market in East London to buy yams, green banana, sweet potatoes, ackee and saltfish. My Dad showed my Mum how to cook Caribbean food and so they often cooked together. Our traditional Sunday dinner was always rice and peas, during the week there was more flexibility. It could be anything from curry goat or a traditional Shepherd's pie. The only thing that remained the same in every dish was seasoning and the frequent use of pepper! 

My Dad was the strictest out of my parents. He was very tall, slim and had the strongest Jamaican accent, so any kid would be intimidated by him! But he was very loving, and I always felt very protected when I was with him. I was and still am very close to my Mum, but she was definitely the more passive out of the two! 

My Dad always used to share stories of Jamaica when we were growing up. He made it sound like the most beautiful island! We finally got our first chance to visit in 2001. He took us to Montego Bay where his family are now, and his childhood home of Westmoreland. It was such a proud moment for him, being back in his birthplace and special for us because we got to see where he spent his earlier years. He’d always missed Jamaica and I finally began to understand why. I have since been three times and I still love everything about it. 

I’ve dated both races. When I started going clubbing at 18 and found myself more frequently around one particular race, I naturally gravitated towards dating them because I felt like we had so much more in common. I’ve since learned that really isn’t the case. I’m open to both and firmly believe in dating people, not skin colours. I did go through a phase during my teenage years of feeling embarrassed because I was mixed. But there was a valid reason! I had moved from a very multicultural area in East London to a small village in Essex where everyone was predominantly White. It was in Essex that I realised I was different to those I was about to make friends with. All the girls looked the same and the boys wanted to date them! I started to feel quite envious. I wanted hair that floated in the breeze, not the tight curls I had, and I did want fairer skin. I feel embarrassed to admit that. Matters were made worse because I had vitiligo, a skin condition where White patches form on the skin. I absolutely hated having it at school. It made me feel so insecure and made me lack confidence. It was another thing that made me look different to my friends. I do think going through that phase has made me more appreciative of my race and it definitely made me see that I wouldn’t change being mixed race for anything.

Interracial relationships are a beautiful thing! It’s the reason why I’m here. But I know they can come with challenges, even in the society we live in today. My parents had it tough back in the 70’s/80’s. It was so difficult for my Grandparents to see past my parents' love, instead they just saw skin colour and automatically didn’t agree with them having a relationship. My parents had to sneak around, and it took years before they were fully accepted into their parent’s homes. Interracial couples today have it so much easier; they can walk the streets freely with very limited racism because it’s much more widely accepted and as one of the fastest growing races, you are more likely to see mixed couples now more than any other time before. I’m not at all suggesting interracial couples don’t come with any hardship in today’s society, but the hatred was so much more prominent during my parent’s generation. Today, I think a large majority of people like the idea of being in a mixed relationship where they can learn something different to their own culture. 

What I love about being mixed-race is that I’m part of two cultures that are so different and enriched, and I get to embrace both! I love when people ask what mix I am because it’s not obvious. There is so much emphasis around being different and being comfortable in your own skin these days, that I love who I am isn’t obvious unless I say. I also love that I’m the result of two people, one black and one white, who battled against those who challenged their relationship; they stuck together and brought me into the world. I also think being mixed-race allows me to have an open mind and see the beauty in the mix of cultures and races that form our society. 

One of the challenges, which I find quite annoying, is the assumption that mixed-race people must be confused. I totally accept this can be the case for some, but it’s the automatic assumption that frustrates me. I sometimes think it’s down to the ignorance of others who find it hard to get around the idea that races do mix! Another major challenge is feeling as though you have to choose a side and never really knowing where you belong. It’s not so prominent now, but when I was younger I always felt like I had to choose a side, which was annoying. Some people would automatically label me as Black, whilst others would label me White because my skin tone was fair. 

I’ve been to Jamaica three times and absolutely love it there. Whenever I’ve visited I’ve always felt like I’ve really connected with the country. I’m proud that it's part of who I am. When I was younger you didn’t really see as many mixed-race kids as you do now, or interracial couples, and because of that you felt like a minority. Now with social media and the rise in interracial couples, seeing us is so much more common. When I was younger, referring to yourself as being mixed-race was also a bit taboo, because essentially you were ‘Black’. Like many, today I refer to myself as mixed-race and I’m proud to say that. I’m my own race, a mixture of the two, but I’m still my own race. I think the mixed-race movement is incredibly positive right now with people really embracing who they are, and I think it will continue to evolve considerably as I get older and if I’m fortunate enough to bring children into the world.

I’ve worked for a high number of professional companies in my career and where I work now, is probably the most diverse place that I work. It’s one of the things I like about working there. I feel very accepted and have never experienced anything racial during my time there. That’s not to say I’m not aware of my skin colour, because I am. I am aware that I’m the only mixed-race woman in my team and having that awareness is perfectly healthy. My workplace has a number of initiatives in place that support women, ethnic minorities and the LGBT community which I think positively shows they are aware and supportive of such groups. 

If I’m honest if I had the opportunity to be reborn I wouldn’t come back any different to who I am today. I’ve learnt to accept the difficult elements of being mixed and the positive elements and am appreciative that this is ‘my story’. If I could change something, it would be how the world perceives us and skin colour in general. It would be more accepting of everyone with less judgment and ignorance. People would be more integrated and skin tone wouldn’t be a factor in how people are perceived. It’d be a big step towards making the world a much more beautiful place to live.